Bad Girls

Speak Up

You know, usually after a break up, one avoids the other while the other is attempting to talk to him or her. It tends to be harder to avoid someone if you live in the same room as them.

But Dylan did a pretty good job, I must admit. She ate with us and she was still laughing and smiling and teasing Ryan, but she was successfully avoiding looking or touching or responding to Emma-Lynn, although Emma-Lynn was barely speaking anyway.

She was extremely down. Her attitude had just gone poof and disappeared. She was no longer the Emma-Lynn we all knew and loved. I didn't like it.

As much as it pains me to say it, I really missed her bitchy pretense and her sneers and smirks and cocky comments. Her soul had completely shattered.

Before she and Dylan even had their fling, they were best friends. Sometimes even Ryan couldn't compete for Dylan's attention. And before the big makeout scene, Dylan was obviously crazy about Emma-Lynn and yet none of us had noticed.

The atmosphere was different, more dense. I felt like there wasn't enough oxygen for all of us to breathe as much as another did. Eventually, one of us would stop breathing completely.

"Ryan, stop it." Dylan's voice reached my ears. Ah, I shouldn't be eavesdropping, especially since the last time I did, I heard Dylan and Emma-Lynn's breakup in full. And yet the window was open and I could hear clearly into our cabin, to where the twins were having what was apparently a deep and serious discussion.

Ryan spoke. "No, Dylan, I will not stop it. How could you hurt her like that? I though you loved her!"
"Shh!" Dylan whispered, frantically.
"Oh, gimme a break, girl. You broke her. Completely. That's not love."
"I had to hurt her before she could hurt me. All she wanted was a physical relationship and I'm not up for just that. I don't want to be like Cassie."
"Well, by breaking her like that without even attempting to be gentle when she's completely destroyed makes you an even bigger bitch than Cassie can ever dream of becoming. So congratulations, sis. You're not like Cassie. You're worse."

There was a creaking noise as Ryan obviously got off the bed and walked out the door.

Well, things were certainly heating up around here. It seemed like everyone had something on their mind that they didn’t want to share, and we were all just blindly lying to each other. I

t was just getting harder and harder to talk to each other and we used to be so close; we were all like sisters. And yet, Dylan was being stubborn, Emma-Lynn was depressed, Ryan didn’t want to speak about the cutting, and Kyla…I didn’t know what was up with Kyla.

I was starting to think that my talking of Samuel Moore had gotten her back into the memories of their fling because oftentimes I would catch her drifting off. We were all drifting off…off into the distance.

“You know what?! I’m sick of this, you bitches!” Emma-Lynn shrieked. We all stared at her. It’s been long since she had been even half that loud.

“What the hell happened to us? Ryan, you still haven’t told us why you’re going to that shrink. Kyla, your head is constantly in the clouds. Joelle, you’ve been having a million thoughts and haven’t said any of them aloud, and yes I can tell. And Dylan, yes I know you don’t want to speak to me, but why are you refusing to continue being yourself with the rest? What just happened?”

There was a long silence. No one said anything and then Emma-Lynn stormed out of the cabin.

“She’s right, you know.” I said, quietly, and followed Emma-Lynn out the door.

“No. You’re talking to me, now.” Emma-Lynn’s voice drifted into my ears and inside my head I swore. Eavesdropping again. I told myself I had to leave, that I couldn’t listen to this conversation, but I just wouldn’t leave. I had to hear this.
“Fine. Talk.” Dylan’s voice was rough and unconcerned.

“You say you wanted more from our relationship, and yet three hours after it’s over, you quite obviously don’t care. You call me superficial and say that I only want a physical relationship, and yet I’ve quite obviously been upset about it. It’s not like I missed the physical stuff, because the most we ever did was make out. You say that you perceived that I didn’t want this to go anywhere, but you know that I’m completely psychologically damaged and cannot express myself. Dylan, do you know how astounded I was when I found out that you actually liked me? Why would you, in all honesty? I’m a bitch! But you did. And I was so amazed, so happy, so grateful. I thought you understood. But apparently not.”

Her last three words were the same as the ones Dylan used to end the relationship, and I almost felt the words slap Dylan in the face as Emma-Lynn walked away. Wow, this was dramatic.

"Okay. Here you go." 
To my amazement, Ryan was rolling up her left sleeve and shoving her wrist, palm up, in front of her. Dylan, Emma-Lynn, and Kyla all stared. Then they saw the little slices.
"Ryan! What the shit?" Dylan yelled, standing up.
Ryan just sighed. "Yes. I know. I have a problem. Yes, I'm getting help. Now sit down."
Dylan sat back down.
"So. I went my turn. Now it's yours." Ryan folded her hands and looked at us all. "Kyla. Speak. Please."
Kyla sighed. "Well, you all know about Samuel, despite how much I tried to hide it. Nothing's happening between us, of course, but I'm just thinking back...and I'm starting to wonder about whether I made the correct decision."
We all gaped at her. She sighed again. "I think I fell in love with him. Now I'm not sure anymore. I just feel really jumbled up inside."

There was a long pause, but then Emma-Lynn started to speak. Passionately, if I may say so.  "Well...I don't really know the entire reason for Dyl-"
She didn't get to finish the sentence, because at that very second Dylan leaned over and gave her a very gentle kiss.
We all just sat there, relishing in the raw sweetness of the moment. Emma-Lynn's eyelids fluttered open and she gazed at Dylan for a good, solid minute before Dylan grinned and made us all laugh.