Finding my angel, facing my demon

Alison make it right

I don't know how long I cried or how long I lay motionless in the bed after my tears had finally subsided. But eventually Alison did enter the room. She sat at the corner of the bed but I couldn't look at her.

"I never loved Aria the way I loved you. I never could've. I never loved anyone the way I love you. Not once in all the times we were together did she ever hold me all night. I never felt safe in her arms the way I feel every night with you. She never rolled her eyes at me, or called me just to say I love you. She never came home early to surprise me for the hell of it or sent me flowers just because. She never bit my neck in that one special spot or ever made me lose my breath by just hearing her name in conversation. We never talked about kids or growing old together. She never told me I was being a big baby or that I was the biggest pain in the ass she had ever met. She never did those things because she wasn't you. She was never as comfortable around me as I am with you. I'm not going to say that I couldn't have had a happy ending. I'm going to say that I can't. Not with anyone but you."

Alison kissed my calf and I felt her tears rub off on my smooth skin. Alison got up to leave but I shot up and grabbed her arm. I hugged her tightly before pulling her into the bed next to me.

I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. The doubts would never leave, not entirely, but we could work on that. I couldn't leave her. Never again would I be able to live a functional life without her. I needed her like air and water. No one else on the planet ever made me as happy or as frustrated as Alison did. Her words were all I needed. I had just wanted her to prove that everything she had said was a lie.

We wrapped our arms around each other firmly, refusing to put even an inch between us. Our legs coiled around each other and I held onto her for dear life. Alison eventually let go of her grip around my body and grabbed my head in her hands. She kissed my tear soaked face, then my hair, then my neck.

"I love you so much. You don't even know." She said softly as she pulled my head closer to her. I just kept crying and even when I thought I couldn't possibly have any tears left a new batch would fall from my eyes. Right before sleep overpowered us late that night, I remember begging God to help me not to lose her again.

I woke up the next morning with an empty spot next to me in the bed. But there was something I woke up with, a pure feeling of happiness. I scampered off to find Alison, when I had finished my morning rituals in the bathroom. I found her in the kitchen making breakfast. She was stretching high once more, reaching the dishes from the top shelf. I slipped in behind her undetected and wrapped my arms around her extended waist. She jumped and almost dropped a handful of dishes.

"Jesus!" Alison exclaimed as she placed both hands on the counter to brace herself. "You scared me half to death."

I laughed softly. I held onto her body with one arm as I used the other to move her hair away from the back of her neck. I placed gentle kisses and bit along the sensitive part of her neck that she had described the night before. I felt Alison relax and lean heaver into my grip. She moaned her approval.

Someone is in a good mood today." Alison  said, a bit out of breath. I could only imagine what her face would look like. Her bright blue eyes clamped shut, her teeth biting her bottom lip.

"A very good mood." I told her huskily in her ear before I took the lobe between my teeth. She leaned even more heavily into me and if it weren't for my body she would've fallen to the ground.

"I'm making breakfast. I thought you would want something to eat. What are you hungry for? There are eggs and bacon and pancakes. Sausage is in the fridge but I can make it in a minute. What would you like to eat?" Alison asked when she finally stood on her own two feet again. She turned to the stove, with me still pressed behind her, and she busied herself stirring, flipping and mixing the food.

"You." I answered swiftly. Alison  spun around quickly and was now face to face with me, with my arms still tightly around her.

"Are you serious? Please don't tell me this is some sort of mean joke. I have been dying to get you to bed since before you left for work on Friday morning." There was a desperation in Alison eyes that made me feel wanted, loved.