Out There Somewhere

Father

I've spent my night pondering about the letters. I kept thinking to myself what would've happened if Mother just would've told me about my father in the first place. Maybe we wouldn't be living in trailer home but may be in some nice house on the south side of town with the large circular drive ways in a gated community. I possibly could've been popular and had people inviting me to their parties, wanting me to sit at their tables at lunch, wanting to be my best friend, calling me up to go out to the mall and other laces with them--- While I'm thinking all of this up I start to realize that I don't have any of those things so to bask in "what could've been" wouldn't make my life easy. Hell it would take a miracle to do such a thing as that.

I left for school early to avoid another fight. I was a paranoid mess, constantly looking over my shoulders and putting my hands in to a fist ready to fight if they came out of mid air. The walk to school seemed longer than usual even though I arrived earlier than I've ever been. The principal sat the kids who came in early in the cafeteria and told us to wait a good hour or so until the lunch ladies opened up to serve breakfast. I sneaked out of the cafeteria to the nearest unlocked class room and dialed 8 before dialing my father's phone number. It was ringing some one picked up. "Hello?" It was a little girl's voice. I stood there mouth open looking stupid as ever. "Hello?!" She screamed. In the background a woman was telling her to "Put the damn phone down!".

She screamed back to her, "Hang it up, mommy?" The woman seemed to be getting close when she told the girl to hand it over to you and get ready for school.

"Who is this?" She asked. Yet again I stood there like an idiot of in outer space. "Ahem, hello?" She was impatient.

I snapped out of it finally. "Well um hi I'm looking for Henry Richard Gordon."

She seemed to be aggravated. "May I ask who you are?"

What do I say? "I'm here to talk to him about his life insurance policy." Wow. Just wow Claire.

She didn't seem to believe me but she went and got him any ways. After long silence I heard a groggy voice of a man. "Hello?" I was frozen, my heart was beating at a mile per second, ii felt my hands become clammy , and my head fuzzy. "Hello?" He repeated him self. "If you're going to play on my phone than don't bother calling."

"No wait!"he seemed startled by that and told me not to yell through this ear again. I apologized. "Is your name Henry Richard Gordon?"

"Yes." He said suspiciously.

I nodded. "How many children do you have?"

"Why?"

"Just a question."

he sighed. "Three."

"What are their ages?"

"Five, six, and three." My heart nearly stopped.

"Do you know a girl named Claire Edmund?" I couldn't believe I said that.

He was silent for some time and then said to me. "Who are you?"

"Do you sir?" My voice was shaking slightly.

He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "Who are you and how do you know Claire?"
So he does know me. I felt a slight pang of hope. I hear people in the corridor. "Do you know her sir?" I scratch my arm softly avoiding my scars.
He paused. I was losing my fake voice. Not like it was good in the first place. "You sound way too young to be working as a life insurance agent."
"Well I'm not sir. Answer my question please sir."
"You sound like a teenage girl." My throat had something stuck in it and my stomach was twisting. "I just sound young. I'm a petite woman." He chuckled. He had the laugh of a Dad.
"I went to this high school the phone number hasn't changes in 20 years. Who ever this just fess up kid I won't be mad OK." He seemed entertained.
I managed to gulp down the thing stuck in my throat. "Claire Edmunds."
He lost his enthusiastic charm. "I have to go. Bye." He hung up on me so fast I didn't have time to beg for him to stay on the line. I just stood there stupidly listening to the dial tone in the phone. I put the receiver down.
"Well good bye."