With Love,

Chapter 9: Confessions of a Jerk

*Josh's POV*

This was quite a difficult task.

I've never told a girl my feelings for her, not once in my whole life.

For crying out loud, I haven't even been in love before!

This was the first time, Earan was my first actual love.

I made a great choice.

Earan is so ... Her.

I love her because she's herself.

She's rather quiet and shy.

She doesn't do much, she's quite the innocent one.

She's simple and plain, she doesn't over act about everything that's minor like most girls would.

She's strong, physically and emotionally.

I know what's happened to her, she's tough because she knows what tough is.

She always seems to have a smile or laugh carried with her, no matter what's going on.

My list about her could continue for days.

It's hard to get her though, but it's better than the easy girls I usually hook up with. She has dignity and self respect.

Yeah, truth me told, I'm one if those guys who screws around and then leaves.

All girls know what they're getting into when they come around me.

Although, I don't want lust from Earan.

I want love, I want affection, I want something real.

I'm getting older, and I need to mature.

I'm not using her for anything whatsoever, which would shock most people if they heard.

The question roamed around in my brain;

Why her?

I step out of my thoughts to answer her.

All I had to do was be honest, without being the usual cocky me.

I'm really serious about her, she's really nothing like the rest.

I let out a deep breath and begin my explanation on what I feel for her and why I want her so badly.

[FREEZE READER! Play "Little Things" by One Direction (or Ed Sheeran if you don't really like the 1D version) RIGHT NOW while reading this next part. You have do it. You just HAVE to. Be like Nike, JUST DO IT.]

I rest my hand upon hers.

"Everything.

Earan, I feel everything for you.

There's no feeling to describe what I even feel about you.

Look, I know we weren't always hanging out and stuff like that, but I know you better than you think.

Dylan's always reporting about you to me.

I never really knew you in junior high, and I cared less about who you were.

When you came back a few years ago, that was what changed. You were a big mystery to me. Everyone kept talking about you and stuff, it made me more curious.

I noticed Dylan was one of your best friends.

Small world, he was mine too.

That's how I 'got to know you so well.

At first, he was hesitant to tell me about you. He thought I wanted to screw you and move on like I did to most girls.

I explained to him that you were special to me, that you made my heart hammer.