Descended (Jahvie)

Ch 1: Mourning

*Dahvie*

I can't erase the image of Jayy. Lying cold and lifeless. With a bullet in the center of his forehead, and that thin line of blood running between his eyes, down the right side of his nose, and pooling in the corner of his lips. Those soft lips that had been all over mine not long ago.

Just yesterday, we lost him, and we buried him. It was the worst day of my existence. I didn't say a word the entire day after Kellin spoke to me, and everyone else was quiet too. It was just so shocking, it happened so fast. In less than a second, he was just gone. And there was nothing I could do.

I feel dead already. There's no spark in me, no happiness, no fire, no life. I can't think straight. I've been in mourning. I can't lead this group anymore. Andy's stepped up, he's been the one holding everybody together, especially Drew and Jeffree. Him and Kellin. I'm glad, I don't even want to go on myself, how am I suppose to keep everyone else going?

I walk over to the gravesite. Five graves lie, just a few feet apart, each with their own cross we made out of wood, and their names carved into them. Jake, Sally, Bryce, Daniel, and my Jayybear.

I try not to groan as I walk, my upper back is in so much pain. I can't retract my wings, since Garrett nearly tore my right one off. Michelle tried to stitch it, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to fly again. The dark angel that stayed with Kelly put his hands on my shoulders, and numbed my pain while she sewed my muscles back together. The angel doesn't have a name, and he's never said a word to us, which I find odd, but I'm glad he stayed. That time he spent with me was agony for everyone else, hearing poor Kelly whimper and cry in pain. She will definitely never fly again, and I feel so sad for her. We buried her wings, her beautiful pink wings, that lost their sparkle when they were torn from her. No one deserves that pain. The angel and Aussie are always by her side now as she heals.

I sit in front of Jayy, and I pray for all four of them, over and over again. But I pray extra long when I pray for Jayy. It hurts to think about him, but I can't stop. I don't want to think about him, but I don't want to forget a single detail of the time I spent with him.

I start to cry again, now I'm so afraid of forgetting even a single detail of my memories with him. Then I remember the best times we had. When I saved him from falling, and I admired his beautiful face for the first time. Our first kiss, right after we met. That one was still the best, I waited for that moment for almost a decade. Then I remembered my group beating him... That I think I could stand to forget.

I remember taking him flying for the first time. He couldn't stop laughing, and it felt so nice when he ran his hand down my wings. I remembered when I had him alone in my room... When I'd tickle him, and he laughed his sexy, adorable laugh. The deep rumbling growl he had when we made love, and when he was angry. I loved it. His soothing voice when we sat beneath the stars, and his powerful screaming and singing in our songs. I miss him so much already, I would give anything to hold him in my arms one more time.

The tears are flowing painfully now, and I reach to my belt for my smallest dagger. I stare at it in my shaking hands. I never thought I would come to this. I'm an angel. But I can see now why some humans resorted to cutting. It seems to be the only way to release the pain, at least temporarily. I hold the knife closer to my left wrist, shaking a little more. That vision of Jayy's cold face flashed across my mind again, and I press the blade to my skin, sliding it across. A thin line of blood appears, and I wait for it to heal, as it normally would. But the blood keeps flowing, and flowing. My heart races as I stare at my wound, and my blood starts dripping onto the ground. I can't help the slight smile forming on my lips.