The Accidental Rapists: The Entire Story

More About Lauren's Cat

(Stacy's POV)

I heard soft sobs coming from her body.

"Lauren why the hell are you in a ball?"

"Why aren't you in a ball?" She replied sniffing.

"Because I'm normal." I notice something moving in her arms... Is that a cat? "Lauren why the fish nipples do you have a cat in your hands?" She just continued to cry.

"Hush little murder it's okay, it'll all be okay." A voice said and it seemed to come from the cat, but I knew it wasn't from the cat. That'd be crazy to think.

"It's not a cat, It's Satan."

"Are you okay Lauren? Did someone bother you? Did you hit your head?"

"No truth! He talks! And yes someone did bother me, but it's fine. He's dead now.

"Wait what?"

"Some guy tried to attack me so I took this trash can lid and bashed his brains in."

"Lauren! That's... Well I guess it's not that bad. I mean look at him. Clearly no one's going to miss him. Let's just leave him there."

"A'ight," Lauren says as she enters the car. "That guy's gonna be fine though. Right, Satan Kitty?"

Why is she talking to that cat? I ask myself. It's just a regular calico. Where the hell did she get the idea to name it Satan Kitty? Oh Well. It's Lauren. I guess I really don't need a better explanation than that. "Let's go home now, Lauren. And maybe Lacey can figure out what the hell's wrong with you."

*****

(Lauren's POV)

"Satan Kitty are you going to come home with us?"

"Of course." Satan hisses into my ear.

"Yay!" I exclaim, scaring the shit out of Stacy.

"What the fuck?" Stacy asks me, ]

"What do you mean?

"Why the hell are you screaming yay?"

"Because Satan Kitty wants to come home with us.

"No. no, no, no, no, no, NO. You are not taking that cat home. I repeat you are NOT! Just look at that thing. It's probably ridden with all kinds of diseases.

"He is not! Just look at him! He's so cute! There's no way he has any diseases. And even if he does we can take him to the vet. And I'll take care of him."

Stacy just looks at me with that look on her face. I know she doesn't want me to have this cat. But I want it, no I need it. Plus it needs me too. I hear a sigh escape from the lips of Stacy.

"Alright. I guess you can keep it. But only for a test run at first. You get one week to prove to me you'll take care of it."

"Yay!!" I exclaim again, once more startling Stacy.

(Satan Kitty's POV)

Yes. These stupid humans. They trust me. Soon enough I will take them over, and then the world! I start to do my evil laugh. Every evil villain must have an evil laugh you know.

"What was that Satan Kitty?" Lauren asks me. Crap, Was my evil laugh out loud? I quickly change it into a cough.

"Nothing you imbecile. Just a hairball. Don't worry about me."

Now back to me, which is obviously the most important thing in this car. My plan for world domination is almost complete. Soon. Very soon. All I have to do is get these stupid humans out of the way. I just wish those stupid humans would stop calling me 'Satan Kitty'. That's nearly demeaning. My name is Denell. I mean Jesus fucking Christ. Seriously not one has thought to ask me? These humans deserve to be dominated, they're fucking rude as hell.