ill be alright

February 4

020416

21:55

I dont think ive ever been happiest. Honestly, ive never met someone so accepting of what has happened to me. the last one, she made me doubt myself even more. she just added to the anxiety. And now with jenna here, ive never felt so much better.

go ahead and call me emotional, but with what she tells me, it makes me break down. ive never felt so. happy. i dont know how else to describe it. she sends me such heart warming things and honestly, this feeling of 'happiness' is so, foreign to me. im not kidding bc im smiling so hard with happy tears running down my face. i didnt think that one person could be able to do so much in such little time.

i would never want to let go.  i feel so much safer in her arms than anyone else's. i dont even feel as comfortable in my moms arms and.. its my mom. shayla knows my relationship with my mom and i dont feel as safe in my moms arms as i do in jennas. i dont know how to feel. is that a bad thing that i dont feel safe in my moms arms? well with how it has been im not surprised.

anyways, im so glad shes here with me. i honestly should have left my feelings with the other and solely on her. but then again at the moment      existed. whatever. i have her now and thats all that matters. i dont know if its because im whipped or whatever but this feeling is not something that i want to ever let go of.

i dont think i can ever be any more grateful for having her with me. the last thing i want to do is let go.