ill be alright

January 10

011016

12:19 pm

fuckkkkkk. goddamnit. im an idiot. im so confused idek whats going on anymore. like wth.

i didnt even know jenna was crying on friday. and its bc of me? holy shit. im so stupid. i shouldve known but instead was in lala town playing with playdoh. great.

idek anymore. and then theres the thing with shayla. then theres mylee whos the one making shayla feel this way. oml. even tho karen and i are not involved, its really hard to keep up sometimes. 

EVERYTHING IS MOVING TOO FAST AND ITS CONFUSING ME HELLA. 

idrc if y'all talk to me, or you stop by to say hi, but can we just take a moment to breath for once. its so suffocating.

omfg and then jenna. fuckk me. shit. im such an idiot. how did i only find about something like that now? wtf. especially if im the one of the reasons why it happened? mothertrucker.

wow am mr demayo for saying that? bc hes always involved with some shit going around the school and always finds out somehow. 

im stupid. i already knew jenna had depression but i didnt think about it omfg. im so dumb. i shouldve made some kind of effort do at least talk to her. ughhhjhyhh

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its very cold rn, but it seems chill does not exist. 

damn.

20:15

back from the mall. it was great getting to spend time with karen and mindy. literally hangover the movie, bc the friends are altogether but theres the one person missing.

it was hella fun though. literally we were in group usa for at least a hour just sitting on the dressing room floor. gr9.

ouu i was suppose to get a new pair of shoes, but instead i got underwear from victoria secret bc sale.

but guess what? jenna and og basketball team plus kevin was there too. yikes.

we ran into them but it was just karla, abby and kevin the first time. the second time, all of them were there. we didn't notice them till we looked up, but all i saw was them running away from us. fuck. then the third time, i was just with mindy bc karen went home, but we ran into kaylen and jenna. they made a very obvious beeline away from us. damn.

i feel really bad bc they were most likely there to cheer jenna up, but nope. bc they knew we were there too it probably made her feel worse. shit. damn.

i didn't really think of it too much tho. no point in worrying about that bc the team was there to cheer her up anyways.

ugh i need to stop.

so today was fun tho. literally we spent $15 on photobooths lmaoooo. we went everywhere trying to find the right one. oml lmfao

we got ice cream, talked shit about cough certain cough people. gotta cut the crusty, yknow? then literally sat in a dressing room talking about our problems. then victoria secret sale ouu. 

i feel really bad bc jenna, but i also feel really good bc i got to spend time with mindy and karen.

its really refreshing to be around them without mylee happening. like wow. it was great. sigh. ill sleep it off for now and probably talk to jenna tmrw so she knows im still up for her (as a friend).