My Digital Escape Preferences/ Imagines

Requested: I Hate You, I Love You

This is a request for @MyMindWillTearMeDown and this is a song-based imagine. The song she requested was I Love You, I Hate You by Gnash and Olivia O'Brian. I'm sorry that it's late, but we all know how demanding school is. I hope you enjoy this imagine! :D

~ "Feeling used, but I'm still missing you and I can't see the end of this. Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but I still can't seem to tell you why. It hurts me every time I see you; realize how much I need you." ~

"What the hell, Jordan? What the fucking hell is wrong with you?" I screamed at him, not surprised that Jordan was trying to prove his innocence. I knew that he had been cheating on me for a while now, but he's clueless enough to think that I don't know what's going on. This is his mind game. He thinks that I don't pay attention to anything in this relationship, but truth be told, I do. I remember everything between us, plus the love we shared, but I guess that means nothing now.

"What you saw isn't what it looks like." Jordan responded, clenching his teeth so he wouldn't scream back at me. I knew damn well that he was on the verge, and honestly, I don't care at this point. What I needed was a break, so I got out of the house and just drive away from him. He's been suffocating me for too long, and I needed fresh air in my lungs; to feel alive again. The music turned on in the car, and I saw Jordan running towards the car, but I sped off before he could say anything else. Gnash and Olivia O'Brien's song I Love You, I Hate You turned on and I let the song take over the silence in the car.

~ I Hate You, I Love You. I Hate That I Love You. Don't Want To, But I Can't Put Nobody Else Above You. ~

After hearing the hook, I came to a realization. Although Jordan is an asshole for cheating, I still love him. I can't count all the little things I love Jordan on two hands: When his eyes shine when the sun reflects on them, the smile that he plasters on his face whenever he sees something he loves, how he sticks his tongue out whenever he's focused, whenever he's lost in a song he wrote, how his mouths curves so he can hit a high note, how he plays with his hands whenever he's nervous and when he arches his eyebrows while learning how to play a song on guitar. He's the definition of perfection, but at the same time, my heart tells me not to love him, but my mind tells me otherwise. I need to love him, but at the same time I hate him. If only love wasn't this complicated. Finally, I decided to head to my best friend's house to get my mind off of him.

"Hey, what's going on? Typically you never come to my house without a phone call telling me." Y/BF/N asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Um, it's complicated. Can I come in?" I responded and Y/BF/N led the way into their house and I walked through the door and landed on their couch with a thud, "Actually, can I stay here for a couple of days?" Y/BF/N looked over at me and gazed for a few moments.

"Tell me what happened."

"As I said, it's complicated. I love Jordan yet I hate him. Does that even make sense?" I thought out loud and Y/BF/N rubbed my shoulder to calm me down.

"It does. I'm sorry." We decided to watch Netflix and sleep on the couch.

~Next Morning~
"Hey Y/BF/N, can I talk to her? Please?" Jordan pleaded, but I refused to come to him that hastily.

"No. You obviously are ignorant for thinking that just talking to her would make her come back to you."

"I know what I did was wrong, but I think keeping me from her would do more damage than good."

"Same concept goes with the fact you're here." Y/BF/N retorted. I couldn't let this go on much longer, so I decided to walk out into the living room.

"I'm sorry Jordan, but it'd be better if we weren't together anymore." I sternly stated and walked off into the kitchen. I love him yet I hate him and I had to let him go.

A/N: What's up everyone? Having a great day? This one has been requested for two weeks and I just finished it. So sorry to @MyMindWillTearMeDown Also, I went to my first professional basketball game today, and it was boring XD Stay strong and stay beautiful lovelies.