Clarity.

Birthday Girl.

It's finally my birthday. I've been waiting to turn 18, since I was 13. That's how tired of living with Jackie I was. I opened my eyes to see what looked like the one person I thought I'd never see again, standing in front of me.

"Dex?"

"Wus good wit it, baby sis?"

I got up to hug him. Dexter's my brother that supposedly got killed two years ago from following in our father's footsteps, which I'm half sure my dad couldn't have wanted him doing but hey.

"How are you even here?" I asked as I pinched his cheek.

"I'a explain later. For now, we gotta talk." He said, sitting on my bed. I walked over to him again and touched his face. I felt skin, which meant that he's actually here and this can't be a dream.

My eyes got wide and I suddenly felt the urge to just scream and let everything that I've been holding in for the last two years out.

I never really healed from my father's death, for one. And then my mother got killed and that's what took me over the edge. I started doing drugs and drinking everyday, thinking it would take the pain away but it didn't. Not even a little bit.

The drugs made me feel numb but I still thought about my parents every second of every day, which was where my pain was coming from.

Next, Dexter got killed. I'm not saying losing your parents doesn't hurt but that feeling compared to losing a sibling? A sibling you've seen every single day of your life for years. A sibling you were more than close to. A sibling that you've grown to absolutely adore.

When you're mad at your parents for days, weeks, or even months, a sibling is the first person you run to if you have one.

All that snatched away from you in the blink of an eye.

It was a pain that i've never felt before. I was scarred for life after losing Dexter. I fell into a deep depression that only I could get myself out of. I lost over 15 pounds, which took me straight to being anorexic. I started throwing up blood for about two weeks and no matter how bad HaKeem tried to force me to go to the hospital, I never went until I almost lost my life over it.

Eventually, I got my health back on track but I still did hard drugs. I was devastated, broken, and lost without the three people dearest to my heart.

"You left the day that I begged you not to leave Keem and I, and you got killed. You knew that something was going to happen that day because you wrote me that letter that I read over and over again, everyday for so long."

I literally had just put the pieces together because I didn't really think anything of it before. I paced my bedroom floor with my hand over my forehead. I really felt like smacking Dexter for all the pain he caused me.

I could've killed myself! The pills I'd pop and wash down with alcohol, the partying at raves, the kickbacks I would get high at with people I barely knew, the constant drinking.. it all came rushing to me at once. I needed to get out of here.

"Let me expl—"

"Let me guess. You had to fake your death to get out of some deep shit you got yourself into? Yeah, I totally understand." I said, slightly rolling my eyes.

I put on a basic Champion jogging suit and paired it with my black and white low top vans.

"If you don't get yo lil ass back in here, India."

I can't believe I'm even going back and forth with Dexter like this. He never did tolerate disrespect so I'm surprised that I'm not already against the wall with his tall ass towering over me, telling me how I'm not about to disrespect him yet.