Clarity.

Sessions, August.

August.

I sat back in my love seat, lookin at the yung lady dat was sittin in front of me. She had to be every bit of 20, which is just a lil weird when I get to thinkin bout her career choice.

"Hi, August. I'm Dr. Knobes, and I'm basically your new diary. For starters, I want to make a goal with you.. I'd like it if you'd speak to me at least twice a week. I don't care if we have a conversation about a broken fish that you cried over-—I want to hear about two or more things that has happened to you each week. Now, I don't want you to feel like I'm rushing you into anything because it may take time for you to grow to trust me. But you called me for a reason. I'm not going to go into full detail because we both know what your reasons were, as of now. I'll be sharing with you also, but I'll try not to make everything about me. Do you have any questions so far?"

It wasn't een my idea to come down here and talk to somebody dat think they can help a nigga like me. Chandra brought dis shit up and I wasn't on no stubborn shit at that exact moment so I agreed to do dis shit.

I ain't sayin I'm against dis therapy shit, I'm just sayin i'on think dis shit is for me.

I just stared at her, pullin on my goatee. "Naw, i'on got no questions right at dis here moment." I finally said.

"Alrighty then. Let's get started with your first day of therapy. Today is June 20th, 2017 and it is 3:01 PM. Tell me a little about your background."

Dr. Knobes spoke, as she jotted down some shit at the same time. Her pen finally stopped movin and she kinda froze. I'm guessin she waitin for me to start talkin but i'on een know where to start.

I done been through some of da toughest situations but a yung nigga knew better than to ever fold. I eventually learned how to keep everything I felt to myself and das how it been since I was a yungin.

"Aight. My pops was never there for me as a yungin, so a nigga never learned how to be a man from a real one. I went from slangin, to gettin kicked out ma dukes crib. From bein homeless to havin to hit licks just to make some money to stay in hotels for a few days at a time." I said, nonchalantly.

I done mastered the art of speakin bout shit dat I used to hurt over as if I was never hurt over it. I never realized how much dis shit actually hurt cause all my life I been holdin shit in. But for some reason, India got me thinkin bout all dis shit and we ain een been together.

She got me wantin to be a better nigga just because. Then Chandra got me all in da feels by bringin my nieces into our conversation earlier.

I heard tiny knocks on my front doe so I got up, piped as hell to open it just because I know who dis be.

"Uncle August!" KayKay, Chay, and Mya all screamed at once, when I opened the door.

"Wus poppin, my beautiful babies?" I said, cheesin from ear to ear.

"Nothin. We just wanted to come see you." Kayden responded first.

"Yea, Unc. We miss you so much." Chay pouted.

"I missed y'all too and I apologize for not bein the best uncle lately. How bout y'all choose a week or two to come stay wit me?" I said, lookin over at Cha.

It's crazy how every time I see them now it feel like I'm apologizin for somethin new. I'm just startin to feel like I'm failin not only Mel, but his babies too. And it hurts my heart cause that was something I never wanted to do.

"Uh, y'all gone upstairs for a quick second. I need to talk to Uncle August." Cha said, standin' up from her chair.

They ran up the stairs and a few seconds later I heard footsteps right above our head. Meanin they was in their room. I stood up and went to sit across from Chandra. "Wus poppin wit ya, sis?"