My Life As Shy

Chapter 3 : The Worst

Monday
2 Weeks later I really thought it was going to get easier but the worst has came....

Flash back to yesterday
Text messages
Pookie: shy
Me: yes
Pookie: I don't know how to say this but I'm breaking up with you it's not you it's just school & other things I still love you doe

End of flashback

I lost my mom & my boyfriend my grades are dropping fast my dad is depressed even more my mama haven't call or nothing wtf I really don't feel like school today I can't but I drag myself out of bed but my hair in a messy bun throw on some sweat pants & a ok cute shirt with some tennis shoes I don't even put on make up I grab my keys & head to school... late again

Mrs.green: shy your late again
Me:  I know I know
Mrs.green: take your sit

I usually sit by ray but I sit in the middle & everybody turns there head in shock

Me: may I help yall
E/b: *goes back to what they were doing *
Jewel :  *sits by me* shy what's wrong
Me: nothing leave me alone
Jewel: shy
Me: *gets up & walks out*

I can't be at school not today so I just go back home & cry all day the door bell rings after 2 o'clock I don't get up to answer it  I get a phone call it's from jewel I don't answer it then she texts me & told me to open the door then she rings the door bell... ugh I finally get up & answer it
Jewel: *hugs me* omg shy
I can't even say nothing I just start boo hoo crying & she holds me
Jewel: best friend I'm here you know I'm always hear for you
Me: *crying* jewel my life is not perfect it's a mess my mom left us a couple of months ago she didn't even tell me bye or that she was leaving she didn't call or text me my dads been so depressed now ray broke up with me
I fall to my knees and cry jewel closes the door & sits on the floor & hugs me tight
Jewel: best friend why didn't you tell me you know I would have been there everybody can't have a perfect life shy it's ok to have break downs shy it's ok *she starts crying too*
Me: I'm sorry for not telling you
Jewel: *hugs me* it's ok boo
Me: *wipes my tears* I love you jewel your the best best friend o could have
Jewel: that's what I'm here for

We clean our face and eat in silence but not a weird silence a comfortable silence like everythings ok.

Jewel : you won't me to spend the night
Me: yea that would be great

Time flies when you have your best friend I'm trying to solve my problems but idk it's hard jewels just listen and comforting me I don't know what I would do without her we take a shower eat & then we are fast asleep

Next Morning
I wake up to jewel hitting the floor hard
Me: *laughing* omg jewel u ok
Jewel: huh... oww no *laughing*
Me: see sleeping wild
Jewel: *laughing* true

We do out hygiene do our make up & wear matching outfits we are definitely best friend goals we drive to school & get glances in the hallway we definitely looking good

Liah: sexy !!!
Jewel: *laughing* so gay 
Liah :yall could of filled me in on the plan
Me: it was last minute and she spent the night
Liah : aww man
Jewel: we having a sleep over party this weekend so don't worry
Liah: ayyeee t'up t'up t'up
Me: *laughing*
Jordan: *hugs liah* hola mami
Liah  *smiles big* hey boyfriend
Tae: *Hugs me* hey sis you good
Me:yea
Tae: *hugs jewel* how's my baby
Jewel: good *smiling*

My heart stinks when I see ray walking this way I just turn around & walk off nobody paying attention to me anyway I go to class early & sit in the back

A few months later it doesn't get any better I try to avoid him the best way I know how & everybody talks about our break up to me & make jokes & I just want to run & hide

Jewel: shy
Me: *jumps* huh
Jewel: sorry didn't mean to scare you but I was looking for you are you sitting with us today
Me: no I'm going to McDonalds .... tell everybody I say hey though

I leave before she can try to convice me to face my fears I get in my car & drive to McDonalds with the radio off jusy thinking I start to cry because I miss him & it's not getting no better everyone's saying move on but how can I he has my heart & soul I wipe my tears & order my food I eat it in the parking lot then drive back to school when I get there jewel is waiting for me
Me: *gets out & locks my car* hey
Jewel: Shyleah Eva...
Me: *cuts her off* hey don't be saying my full name
Jewel: shy you can't keep avoiding him you have to face your fears
Me: I can keep avoiding him & I will keep avoiding him
Jewel: ugh
We walk into the school & everybody is by our lockers expect ray we're talking and laughing we start walking to class & ray is headed our way I separate myself from the group & hide in the crowd & walk to class .... after school I drive home Its more like prison then home my mom still haven't called it's almost been a year I fucking hate her I lay in my bed & then I get a text message
Conversation
?? : can we talk
Me: about what ray
Ray: I hate when people try to avoid me like can we be friends
Me: I do a pretty good job at avoiding you so & how am i supposed to be friends with somebody who has/had my heart
Ray: can you at least give it a try
Me: fine w.e

End of conversation

I text jewel & told her what happen she laughs & told me I have to face my fears fuck fears he already lives in my neighborhood like down the street I already gotta avoid him like this is so hard ... I go in the kitchen to get something to eat I grab a handful of snacks but I eat when I'm sad or thinking I put on some shoes & walk to the park I sit & the swing & kick my feet it's so quiet & relaxing I close my eyes & imagine I'm flying .... I jump off & land it perfectly as I'm walking home ray comes outside my heart skips I beat & I keep walking hoping he doesn't see me Ray: SHY!

I stop dead in my tracks I want to run but my legs won't move by the time I get myself together rays in front of me.... I look up
Ray: hey
Me: hey
Ray: where you going
Me: *points* home
Ray: wanna stay out here & chill
Me: I would but I have homework
Ray: o ok... well bye
Me: bye
I run home & by run I be hitting 4 flat like something was chasing me
I don't have homework I lied but I can't hang with him not now I feel like I want to go die in a hole my life is going down hill fast & there's nothing I can do about it

Tbc