Flipped

Filpped 04 : Carl's Confessions

Cristal's POV

…hugged me tight, it is so tight that I can feel the warmth of his body. And he’s starting to whisper in my ear.

“The first time I met you and the first time I started talking to you, gusto na talaga kita. And when we became closer, I was falling. But I knew then no one will ever gonna catch me. Kaya nasaktan ako habang sinasabi mo sa akin na you really really like Akie. At parang nadudurog naman puso ko habang kinwekwentuhan kita tungkol kay Akie. And your smile, I knew that it was not mine. But I’m so happy to see you smiling kahit minsan lang. You kissed me, I feel like I was dreaming but then I realized that friendly kiss lang yun. And when narinig mo yung tungkol kay Akie and Maggie, umiyak ka sa harapan ko. I felt sorry for what happened to you, gusto kitang yakapin na mahigpit nun para matigil na iyak mo. But I couldn’t, nirerespect kita kaya hindi ko ginawa yun, baka masapak mo pa ako. "

Then he let go of me. Two inch away from his face from mine staring his teary-eyes. He looks down.

“Noong mangyari yun inisip ko na ako na lang sana, ako na lang sana para hindi ka na nasaktan, para hindi ko na nakita yung taong mahal ko na umiiyak dahil sa ibang lalaki. Pero wala na akong magawa. Tinago ko nalang feelings ko sayo and stay with you as a friend or as a brother. Mas maganda na yun kesa nalaman mo at iwasan ako.” Of course speechless ako… sino ba naman ang hindi maii-speechless dito pag sinabihan ka ng mga ganitong words.

Gosh, hindi ako makapaniwala na ganito ka strong ang feelings niya sa akin, matagal na pala niya akong gusto, hindi ko alam. Naguiguilty ako, pero habang niyayakap niya ako kanina, I feel comfortable and protected.

Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganitong feeling. I feel like I was flying. I feel his sincerity in his words. I’m so stupid hindi ko ito naramdaman noong una pa lang. I was fooled by one guy who always ignoring me. Hindi ko akalain na may magmamahal sa akin ng ganito.

“Ahh, Carl…” I lifted his chin up, and I look straight into his teary-eyes.

“I know mahal mo pa siya, nirerespect ko yun. I will be waiting for you to fall inlove with me, pero hindi kita pipilitin na mahalin ako.” Then he left w/o letting me to tell my reaction sa ginawa niya.

Ngayon lang ako nakakita ng lalake ng napaka expressive sa nararamdaman niya, and hindi ko ineexpect na makikita ko ito kay Carl, na tahimik lang pero may sinseridad at may sense lagi kapag bumubukas ang kanyang bibig.

Tinitignan ko lang siya habang palayo siya sa akin, para lang siyang kasing tangkad ni Akie, pero mas lamang ng kaunti si Akie, yung mata niya kanina, ka-mata niya si Orlando Bloom(walang kokontra), he is so thin, lagi siyang naglalakad na nakatago ang kamay sa bulsa.

Magaling siyang mag-drawing, nasa akin pa yung drinawing niya dati na nakatalikod ako habang nagsusulat sa may desk, as usual gumagawa ng assignment, hindi ko alam nasa likod ko pala siya, at pagkatapos bigla na lang niyang inabot sa akin yung drawing at umalis na. Ibang klase, pero nagiisa…

“Wait Carl!” pumunta ako sa harapan niya. Putik, he’s crying? I tried not to notice, baka maawa lang ako at kung ano pa masabi ko.

I lay my two hands on his thin shoulders, but he still staring at the floor, maybe worrying about his soaked face.“You know Carl, you’re special to me. Nandiyan ka lagi kapag kailangan kita.”

 “But?” Tinanggal niya kamay ko sa balikat niya. “I know there’s a “but” there, say it… I’m just like your big brother, right?”

That’s what I'm tryin' to say but I can’t explain my feelings right now and I’m scared for it. I’m afraid that he might hurt. I cannot do that. I can’t, sa lahat ng nagawa mo sa akin noon, hindi pwede… not now.