Growing up were taught monsters are supposed to live under your bed, but no one taught you about the ones that live in your brain. The ones that come out and haunt you at night, when your craving to be loved. The ones that reminded you of how worthless you are and how much you don't mean to anyone.
Those are the ones we should be warned about. The ones that haunt you until you finally pull the trigger.
For me those are the voices. They haunt me everyday and night.
They make me feel worthless and I believe them. I believe every word they say because there's no one else to tell me any different.
This hurts me because I remember there used to be a day where I wouldn't believe them. Where I would pass it of as a joke or believe they were lying.
But those days are in the past. I don't think there lying. And sometimes I cherish their words because well as lonely as it sounds it's something that's talking to me.
And I think they will haunt me until I die.
Did you know I tried it? I actually tried to kill myself, but I got saved. This man that I didn't even know saved me.
The voices told me he wanted me to die. That he was saving me for his own purposes. That he didn't actually care about me.
And of course I believe them.
Why would anyone care.
----------------------------------------------------
Silence is a deadly thing. It makes us think about what we've done. We busy our selves everyday to stop the silence, to fill the void of emptiness. With silence there's no distraction to mask what is real.
And right now sitting here writing this there's nothing but silence and I'm forced to think about what's real.
My thoughts are clawing at my head and I couldn't push them away because all there was, was silence. My thoughts flowed into the world until I couldn't take it anymore. I turned my radio on full blast and started writing this.
Anyway, I think this will be my final note. I think my point has finally been made. If not, I'll explain it more. The past two years of my life have been an utter Hell. And I don't want to live in a world where children grow up and realize monsters are real. I don't want to live in a world where people don't love themselves because of those monsters. I don't want to live in a world where those monsters get away with what they do. I don't want to live in a world where no one loves me. What's the point. All theses things are true and I'm finally able to do this.
I'm finally able to end everything. My pain, my suffering, my tears, my fake laughter, my fake smiles, and more importantly, my life.
Just let those makeup people hide my scars. Let them make me look like I was happy.
Forever and always..
-Cheyenne
》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》
Thank you guys so much for reading.
I have 54 reads....YAY.
Anyway, sorry this chapter is late I'll post the next one sooner.
Vote
Comment
Follow
-Sky
