I swear my heart stopped for a moment.
He can't be dead.
He understood.
He made me feel better, maybe even normal.
I could see the nurse's mouth moving but all I could hear was the steady beat of my heart.
He's dead.
I'm sad, yes, but a part of me feels not only anger but jealousy.
How dare he leave me here. He left me just like my sister did. Alone and sad with no one to talk to.
I was jealous because he got to do it. He got to leave and I was stuck here.
He got to leave.
He didn't care about you.
Just another helpless teenager that put money in his bank account.
He used you.
He got so annoyed with you that he had to end his life.
You worthless slut.
You're nothing more than mistake that makes people want to kill themselves.
"Cheyenne, are you okay."
"Someone get the doctors, she's in shock!!"
Doctors came running in one by one.
"Cheyenne look at me. What's happening. It's okay. Calm down. Breath."
The doctors kept speaking to me trying to calm me down but all I could think about was Dr.Cooper.
"We have to put her under," one of the doctors called out.
Right now I felt no emotions. I just wanted to lay down and shut off my brain.
The only think running through my mind was him. Dead.
Free.
A sharp pinch to my arm was the last thing I felt before I feel into another drug induced sleep.
《《《《《《《《《《《《《《《
"Cheyenne."
The low voice coming from beside me was to loud and the light surrounding my closed eyes was to bright.
I tried to inform the person that I was awake but all that came out was a strange grunt.
I felt to weak to move anything.
"Oh, you're awake," the voice said, "Sorry about all....this, the dose we gave you was to big."
This was terrible. I wanted to voice my anger out to the man but I could only make noises.
"You should be getting back your strength in a few minutes. Until then I would like to ask you some questions. One grunt for yes, two for no."
This was stupid and humiliating. I was not going to play this stupid game.
But the question he asked me caught my attention.
"Do you want to die."
I was broken. I was a broken girl that didn't want or need help. I couldn't live on. I wouldn't.
I grunted.
"Okay," I heard the smooth sound of a pen gliding across paper," Do you want to hurt your family."
Of course not. I wouldn't allow them to.
Two grunts.
"Mhmm,okay, can you move anything yet?"
I tried moving my fingers, urging them to move. They did.
I then tried to open my eyes, urging them to open. They did.
The sight above me wasn't anything special. Just a plain, rough, white ceiling.
Until I turned my head to the side was when I saw the man speaking to me.
He was young. Late twenty's at least.
His eyes were a bright shade of green and the hair on his head was a light brown.
His head was down, looking at the chart in his hands,not noticing me looking at him.
He slowly looked up, finally noticing me.
"Oh, hello," he chuckled.
"Hi," I managed to croak out.
"Would you like some water," the man asked.
I quickly nodded my head, just now noticing how dry my throat was.
The man got up, leaving the chart on the chair he was sitting on, and walked to the door. Right when he was walking out he leaned back in.
"By the way, I'm Dr.Evans."
He then walked out.
Curiosity got the best of me and I leaned over and picked up the chart and began reading.
Patient seems to have fresh cuts on her thighs. She also believes that she would like to die. Why?
The patient doesn't seem to want to talk about her past. Her cuts seem to be healing but scars will take their place.
They know. They're not going to leave me alone until they know how I did it.
Faint footsteps were heard coming to room, informing me Dr.Evans was coming to the room.
I gently placed the chart back onto the chair and acted oblivious.
"I couldn't find any bottled water so I got some out of the fountain, is that fine?"
I nodded eagerly taking the cup filled with water and immediately felt better.
"You should be able to go back to your room, but only if you're felling better," the doctor said, looking at me with concern.
"I'm feeling fine," I replied.
"Alright come on," he reached towards me and helped me get up.
"Room 164, right?"
I nodded and we began to walk back to my room.
*~*
When we got to my room, I went and sat on my bed.
Dr.Evans was beginning to walk out when he stopped.
"You know you don't have to stay in here," he said, turning around, "Go out, meet new people, every Wednesday we have a little dinner out on the grounds."
"I don't want to meet the people here," I grumbled.
It was true. I didn't. The crazy laughs and screams told me to stay away from these people.
"Well have fun," he smiled, walking to the door," being alone.....in your room....all by yourself."
I rolled my eyes in a playful manner and he walked out, shutting the door behind him.
I didn't hear any of the voices so I decided to lay down.
The drugs must not have wore off because as soon as my head hit the pillow I was sleeping.
