The voices have gotten louder
You've token away my blades. You tried to help me but you just don't know how much more pain you put on me.
The blade that used to be in my hands, was my only friend. It took my pain away when no one else could.
There's this poem I once heard. It fits well with me.
Fake smiles,
Dried eyes,
Scratched wrist,
Bruised thighs,
White pills,
Ropes tied,
Gun loaded,
Suicide.
The only reason I'm hanging on is because of you. Not because I think you would care, because you haven't seen how much of a mistake I am.
You can't look at my fake smiles, dried eyes, scratched wrists, and my bruised thighs and see the mistake. And for some reason that hurts me more than the voices.
I love you, I really do, but you don't understand how much I'm hurting. I wake up every morning and the voices start. The hateful voices won't leave and I'm scared they'll stay with me until I die.
That's why I'm writing this. I don't want to live in a world where all there is, is hate. All my flailed attempts at letters and I never got to this point.
It's 3 am and my thoughts are suffocating me. Surrounding me I a dark, dense cloud of tears. I keep thinking about doing it.
Most likely if your reading this I did. I ended a life that will never me missed. A life that should've never been in this world at all.
The thought of you having to deal with me anymore than you have, hurts me. Why would I want you to. I don't get it. The voices tell me how much of a mistake I am, they tell me I don't deserve to live in this world...and I believe them.
So the point is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you did really care. I'm sorry you couldn't see through my eyes. I'm sorry.
I love you more than you will ever know.
Goodbye.
Love,
-Cheyenne
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Sorry this chapter isn't as good or as long. I promise the next one will be better.
I will post another chapter if I get 3 views on this chapter.
Thanks for reading!!!!!
Peace
-Sky
