Allegiant - alternate ending

NEW CHAPTER 62, TOBIAS

I'm looking at her as she sleeps and something warm spreads into all parts of my body. Her skin looks much better now, despite it is still very thin and sensitive. The death serum will probably leave permanent marks on her skin, but no one of us cares about this. I gently apply a protective cream several times a day. At first it was quite scary for me and painful for her, but now this has become our trickling ritual and time for some tenderness. Day by day she looks better and more similar to Tris before she was shot. Part of the day she can already be without the oxygen mask.

I know I will have to tell her that a big job is still waiting for her, but I don't want to worry her for now. I am aware that she already knows enough that she will figure that divergents must have had additional, special role.

In this moment her eyelashes tremble and then they slowly open. Her eyes are very sleepy at first, but then they get clear and her lips stretch into a smile. Something like a silent, but lively conversation vibrates among us. I feel a strong wish to be as close to her as possible, so I lean toward her. I didn't dare to kiss her till now. Partly because she was hurt and partly because I was afraid of my own wish – wish for one single kiss. And it was almost like I would be afraid to use this last chance. Now my own words almost surprise me, "Can I kiss you?"

She just nods, her eyes shinny.

Our lips gently touch and a flush of energy flows through my body. When I pull back I say, "I missed this."

"I know. That's why I wanted to survive." She pauses a little and then she adds: "Do you want to know what I was thinking about in the moment I saw David with a gun in the Weapons Lab?"

I just nod.

"I realized that I was almost dead at least once in Dauntless, once in Abnegation, Amity, Erudite and Candor once at the fringe and that I want that this one here to be the last trial in this series. I was determined that I want to survive this – for you. "

Tears blur my sight and I can see them in her eyes too.

"Four." She says then, "I still don't understand why they were trying so intensively to get rid of divergents. It seems strange. Do you know anything more?"

I look at her for some long seconds. I knew she will ask, but it still surprised me. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"I am very sure!" she laughs. "Do you think I could lie a bit straighter?"

I help her to raise her backrest a bit. "OK. I will tell you the basics now. We will have plenty of time for details later."

She just expectantly smiles and nods.

I pause a little to find right words. "You already know that the Bureau was lying about many things. They told us that Edith Prior's message was only partially correct. The fact is that it was completely correct. After the Purity war all sides agreed to finish fighting under condition that the government will find people who will be trusted to establish a new social system. They called these people Establishers. After long discussions they approved that Establishers should be people from experiments, who are totally without markers of genetic changes, who are resistant to serums and who are mental and moral stable enough to pass simulations of features that were subject to genetic manipulations. According to the social system in Chicago this would mean all five factions. The Bureau was established to find Establishers and it should be disbanded after that. So the Bureau wanted to hide them long enough that they would develop methods to govern themselves. That explains why they wanted to hide or even destroy us. Especially they wanted to get rid of us after our arrival to the compound."

She stares at me with wide eyes.

"And we are some of these people?" she slowly asks.

"You are." I reply, smiling. "You are the only one approved as appropriate for a leader of Establishers till now. But nobody outside the compound knew for you."

She just nods. After a few silent moments she asks, "Did the people in the compound knew about this?"

"No, only some leaders of the Bureau knew and they manipulated the others."

She nods and asks again. "And how did they plan to govern?"

I focus my eyes to hers as I explain, "Serums. Virus-like memory serum and long-lasting peace serum for people, target-sensitive death serum and simulation serum for the government."

I see a light of embarrassment in her eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't want to tell you so soon. But I also cannot keep the truth from you."

"Thank you," she mumbles. "I think I will need some time to go through this..."

I know her enough to know that now she would prefer to have some moments alone to think about everything. "OK," I say. "I will go for a breakfast to give you some time. Can I bring you anything?"

She just shakes her head. She takes my arm and pulls me closer to whisper to me, "I love you."

I enjoy another few moments with her. Then I give her a kiss and when I close the door I am the most grateful man in the world. I know that the future will bring us further challenges, but I am ready and I am waiting for them.