UN REQUITED (boyxboy)

Eleven

I am completely frenzied and I have no real clue as to why. I mean really, I've known Conner all of my life and yet this date has me in a panic. Our parents agreed that before I went anywhere, they wanted me well rested and feeling more like myself again and Conner wanted to get our first date out of the way before I returned to school on Monday.

So we had to wait almost two weeks before going on our date and now the building anticipation is finally ready to burst. I am so nervous and I know why but I am trying not to think about it too much yet, I just cannot help myself.

With each passing day Conner has shown me his love in different ways. Each day he becomes a bit more bolder. Sometimes I feel so inadequate. I don't have any experience what so ever when it comes to the all of the physical stuff. How can I possibly satisfy him.

I am startled out of my thoughts by my moms hand landing on my shoulder. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" "Yeah, yes I'm fine." "Ioan, I'm your mother so it's safe to say when I know you are full of it. Talk to me baby boy." I look over at my beautiful mother. I really do favor her in almost every. Conner has taken to calling me beautiful all the time now.

With the help of a therapist that I am expected to meet with three times a week, so far I have discovered that if I want to have better control over my life then I need to let those that love me in. "I'm a bit worried mom." "Over what sweetheart?" "Well, I know that pretty much everyone knows how I feel about Conner and vice versa but unlike Conner, who has had some form of sexual experience, well I just don't mom."

As I sit on my bed I bury my head in my hands trying to hide my embarrassment. I feel her sit down next to me and wrap her arm around my shoulders. "Ioan are you telling me that you and Conner are planning on taking your relationship further?" I give her a shocked looked and say, "NO, um no. What I mean to say is not quite yet. I mean, I know eventually it will happen but Conner is in no way pushing me into anything that I am not ready for."

"Then what IS going on dear?" "I just...I don't know anything mom. Conner is the only person I have ever kissed. I feel inadequate." "Ioan, look at me." I look up into the adoring face of the most important woman in my life and find nothing but love and understanding staring back at me.

"This is not common knowledge and normally it's not something that would have ever been discussed with anyone especially you dear. If you have time before your date. You need to go talk to your father who may be able to have more insight into your situation than you realize." Then she kisses me on the cheek, gets up and leaves my room.

I must have sat in a daze for a bit because not too long after my mom left, my dad knocked on my open door, entered and then closed the door quietly. He pulls the chair from my desk right in front of me and sits down and just faces me staring at me for a couple of minutes. He looks to be deep in thought.

"Mom asked me to come up and talk to you." "Did she explain to you why?" My dad takes a deep breath in and sort of blushes slightly which catches me off guard. I have to tell you that my dad is a very big bear of a man. You just do not mess with him and anyone he holds dear. To see him a bit frazzled threw me off.

He clears his throat and says, "Listen son. Experience can sometimes be overrated and right now, just the way you are is perfect. Do you know the gift you will be giving him when you finally start to experiment more with your sexuality? You are like a brand new flawless and blank canvas and Conner, he is the paint brush with all of the many beautiful colors he will place upon you."

Who knew that my father could wax poetic. "Dad, why are you telling me this?" "Because my dear, dear son, like you, the moment I met your mother, she was it for me. I had never been with anyone, in any way. At the time she had a boyfriend but thankfully, she did not get to far with him but like Conner, she did, technically, have more experience than me."

My eyes were wide open as my dad started laughing a little, "Don't get me wrong son. I felt just like you do now but I quickly got over it because in the end, all I wanted was to be with her and nothing, no one was going to stop that from happening." "So like Conner is to me, mom is your soul mate?"

He responds with a huge satisfied grin on his face, "Yes, yes she is son. I think it's been that way for generations. I don't ever remember there being any divorces in my family. Once you fall, that's it!" At this point we were both laughing and finally I felt more at ease.

"Thanks dad." "For what son?" "For just being the best dad in the entire world." " Thanks are not necessary and besides, this is Conner we are talking about. I only knew your mother for a few months when I fell hard. You have known him your entire life. I know that we have not really talked about you being gay and boys and what not but I have to say Ioan, if I had to choose a guy for you, Conner would have been it. I know that I never have to worry with him when it comes to you."

I jump off the bed and hop right into my father's arms giving him a great big hug. With joy he says, "Now get ready as I am sure Conner will be here soon and we don't want to keep our young suitor waiting!" I could not help but giggle hysterically.