UN REQUITED (boyxboy)

Eight

Everything is such a hazy fog.  I am so, so drained and tired.  Every inch of me hurts.  As I seem to come around I try to focus on my surroundings and just notice white walls.  Where the hell am I?  I notice a pressure on the left side of my body and slightly move my head noticing that even that small movement hurts like hell.  I am shocked to find Conner wrapped around my arm with his head laying on my hip bone.

What is going on.  My head hurts so bad.  As I try to remember I also take stock of all my aches and pains and notice that my left arm is throbbing in pain and then it hits me.  Oh my God...I tried to end it all last night and, and he, he found me and Oh my... I remember the kiss.

I must have moved around a bit as I suddenly am surrounded by Conner as he looks down at me with the most relieved look on his face and says, "Oh thank God you are finally awake.  Ioan you have no idea what we've been through."  I try to talk but find that I cannot as I have a tube going down my throat.  I start to slightly panic but his hands start to caress the sides of my face as he says, "Calm down baby.  Let me call a nurse to come in and then they can take care of you okay."

He leans down and grazes my lips softly with his, successfully calming me into complete and utter shock.  Did he just call me baby?  I must have died and come back in an alternate universe.  I look down as I feel him lean over me and press the call nurse button and then he sits back down in his chair and just holds my hand like I am going to disappear or something.

It's kind of surreal.  I turn my head so I can stare at him.  I notice that he looks disheveled and he has small dark circles under his eyes.  He just looks plain exhausted even though his eyes tell me he is so happy to see me right now.  I try to convey with my eyes that I am okay.  I am so happy to see him and I feel him squeeze my hand in answer.

As the nurse enters my room the commotion begins.  The doctor enters as well as some other staff members from what I now know to be the hospital.  A kind looking man approaches the end of my bed and says, "Ioan my name is Dr. Henrick Storm and I will be your treating physician.  Conner, do you think you can step outside for a moment while I run through my examination and assessment of Ioan?"  He asks this with a smile on his face but I begin to freak out a bit and grip onto Conner with as much strength as my body will allow.

"Hey, shhhhh baby.  Calm down okay.  I trust Dr. Storm.  He's really cool.  Let him just make sure you are okay and I will be right outside that door waiting okay.  I have to call your parents and let them know you're awake."  Oh my God, my parents.  The look of pure panic on my face set off the monitors I am attached to but before any really alarming noises overtook my room, I felt the calming balm of Conner's lips against mine and I relaxed immediately.

"Much better!", he said smiling into my face.  He caressed the side of my face and said, "Everything's going to be okay baby!"  My soul just soared with happiness at the endearment.  I watched him get up and walk out the door and then I turned my view to Dr. Storm.

"Give me a chance just to check you over and then we will get that tube out of your throat okay."  I nod in understanding.  "You gave us quite a scare."  I must have given him a questioning look when he answered, "You have been unconscious for the last four days and that poor man of yours has been inconsolable.  That one is a keeper!"  He says with mirth.  "You can obviously tell that he is far beyond smitten with you."

His smile has such a calming effect that before I know it, he is finished his exam and preparing to pull out this tube from my throat.  That is an experience I never want to repeat.  I must have dozed off for a brief moment because I suddenly become aware of Conner's hand holding the side of my face while gently rubbing his thumb back and forth against my cheek.

I turn into his hand and just smile at him and as he stares down at me with intense emotions flickering across his eyes he says, "I want you to listen to what I have to say and try not to interrupt me.  I know the doctor does not want you to try and talk to much right now so just listen to me okay!"  I nod my ascent.  

"First, I am sorry.  I am so, so sorry that it took for you to almost loose your life for me to finally own up to what I have always known in my heart.  I love you Ioan.  With every fiber of my being and I am sorry that I was too much of a coward to process what I was feeling and come to terms with it."  

I started to shake my head in the negative but he shushed me and said, "No, this was my fault but never again.  I got a very brief glimpse of what a reality would be like without you in it and let me tell you baby, I pretty much died.  My heart could not take it so right here, right now I need you to promise me that you will never, ever do something like this again."

I can feel the tears begin to flow from my eyes down towards my chin.  I feel him lift my face to directly gaze into his eyes and there it is all laid out for me.  He really does love me and it is so unbelievable that I just start to cry and whimper and finally, finally as I feel him wrap himself around me, I let everything that I have ever felt all out into his chest.

Finally calming down from what felt like forever.  I look up into the face of my handsome man as he wipes the evidence of my tears from my face and say is a raspy whisper, "I love you.  Thank you!"