[Namjoon]
I still felt ashamed for crying the previous night and for some reason, I felt the need to tell Jin about it. Without a moment of hesitation I walked out of my house, quietly locking the door before shuffling down the hall in my PJ's.
It was only when I stood outside of his door that I started to question my choice. It was six in the morning and I don't think anyone would be happy if someone woke them up that early. I just stood there, my fist frozen before I could knock. I realised just how weird this would have looked if any one were to pass by and see.
Just as I was about to pull away, the door flung open and I screamed, jumping back quickly. Jin screamed as well and that only scared me more. I eventually caught my breath and Jin did too. We both stared at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter.
"And apparently I'm the one with the girly scream?" I said, earning me a light punch on the shoulder before being dragged into Jin's flat.
Jin jin jin jin jin jin jin
"Are you okay?"
I was brought out of my strange thoughts, and I could feel the heat rise on my face with the embarrassment. He repeated the question again, this time sounding genuinely concerned. His comforting voice was more than enough to break down my walls.
"No." I whispered my response but with the room being silent, it felt like I was screaming it. "What's wrong?" The way he sounded like he cared continued to strike down my emotional barrier and before I knew it I was crying my eyes out again.
The only difference was that this time I was in Jin's arms, him whispering sweet things into my ears, him being the one to finally tell me that it'll be okay.
I finally cried away all of my tears, my nose runny and my head aching. I wanted to punch myself for crying in front of Jin, out of all the people. I felt myself slowly becoming more afraid of him judging me. Although I knew Jin wouldn't do that, I automatically sided with my negative thoughts.
I pulled away from his grip, leaving a wide space between us. It was silent again, yet not awkward. I just felt too intimidated to speak, and Jin probably felt I was too pathetic to be spoken too.
With a few more minutes of nothing being said passing by, I gained a small amount of courage and spoke up.
"Sorry."
Jin's face fell and I panicked, thinking that he was disgusted that I had the audacity to speak to him after what had happened. I backed away from him slowly but this only made him frown more. I had never been so confused in my life.
"Are you sorry for crying?" I nodded in response and he sighed loudly, making me flinch. "Namjoon. It's okay to cry. Just because you cry, it doesn't make you weak, or make me think lowly of you. If I did, if anyone did, wouldn't that make them hypocritical? Who can you name that has never once cried during their whole life? You shouldn't be afraid to be human, you should cry and let the sadness out before it becomes too much to cope with. And by what I just saw, you cried out every emotion just now, and that's damn tiring."
His words hit me, but I only shrugged in response. "I cried most of them out yesterday." I mentally slapped myself. He shouldn't have to know that I had cried twice within 24 hours. He'll hate me, he'll think I'm weak, he'll thi-
"Y-yesterday? Why?" He looked sad, something that broke my heart. "All night." He whispered a quiet 'oh' before hugging me again.
I relaxed into his arms, confused yet calm because for once, I knew I wasn't alone.
"Having a girly scream isn't something to cry over." Jin whispers, laughing quietly. I laugh back, not bitterly or sarcastically, just a genuine laugh. Because even after all that sadness, I found a source of happiness to cling onto and right now, my heart couldn't feel any lighter.
"It isn't, so you better not cry as well." Jin nodded at my response, the smile bright on his face and I smiled back, snuggling into his warm hug.
Jin jin jin jin jin jin jin jin
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so much fluff
