Meet Fifty Shades

chapter 12

Dr. Flynn's POV

I remember the first time Christian came to see me, he was in his mid-twenties and when he came into my office he deposited his file on my desk. It was several books thick with what I had no doubt was endless upon endless evaluations of Christian not being able to control his anger and the inevitable conclusion that, that particular therapist could do nothing to help him.

When he came into my office, I was surprised to see a young man with the symmetrical beauty of a male model, but it was more than clear that behind those eyes where demons that he hid well and did not show the rest of the world. I felt like I looked in to the depth of one much older than Christian was. He was radiating hostility and I wondered why he came, if he really did not want to be here.

I told him about the way I do therapy, which I especially in his case thought to be a very good way to go forward, but when I mentioned Solution Focused Brief Therapy, he already closed down and did not seem inclined to taking to my methods. It soon became apparent to me that his method of coping was beating the shit out of brown haired girls in his so-called playroom. He did not really want the therapy, he just wanted someone to load all his shit onto.

His family has never known anything about his lifestyle, in fact very early in our sessions it became obvious that he did not talk very much with his family, he did not feel that he belonged there and that he was a constant disappointment to his parents. He is very fond of his little sister Mia and I sense that he has a somewhat good relationship with his big brother Elliot, if not a little distant. He does not like people getting too close. 

Even his submissives are not close to him, they are there for the sex and I expect the expensive gifts he gives them. But he does not share a relationship with these women; they are obviously just there for the sex. He has on a few occasions ended their contract if the women have indicated that they want to be in a relationship with him.

The only person I have the impression that he has a close relationship with is Elena, the woman who seduced him when he was 15 and introduced him to the BDSM scene. I have been unfortunate enough to meet the woman on a few occasions and I do not like her. I have observed her with Christian and even though they do not have a sexual relationship anymore, it is obvious to me that she still controls him in some way. She is extremely manipulative and will in most cases steer his mind in the direction that she wants.

Christian has countless times told me that she is just a friend and business partner, but I find it very difficult to believe that there is not more to it than that for her. 

She helps him choose his submissives sometimes, which I really do not understand, but he told me that it has always been like that between them.

His family does not know about their affair either, which I suppose is rather clever.

My wife has gotten involved in some of the charity work that Christian's parents are also involved with so we have been invited to some of the functions they host at their home in Bellevue. This has given me a rare opportunity to get a look at how Christian interacts with his family and those around him. He is very loving with his family, it is clear as day that he loves them, but he keeps a comfortable distance to them, he does not tell them much about his life and what he does. It is apparent that he does not have many friends; he uses these functions to network with potential business partners and leaves early. He does not see himself as capable of love and thinks that he does not have a heart. In all the time he has been my client we always go about the same subjects, his nightmares, his fear of being touched and his sexual life. There is never anything new on the table and he never wants to try the SFBT that I would usually insist on my clients trying. But I have kept him as a client because I feel that he trusts me and at least should have the opportunity to have someone to talk to even if he is not willing to use my methods. It is plain as day that he cannot go on without having a therapist, so it might as well be me who gets the money. That and the fact that I have grown to care for him; usually I keep a distance to my patients, but having been involved with his parents who are some of the sweetest people it is difficult not to care. I am hoping that one day he will change, he will realize that he is capable of more than an impersonal BDSM relationship with a woman, because I am certain that he is.