Dangerous Love

Home Sweet Nightmare

Another month passed and Ayato was finally able to go home. He had a lot of resting to do though,so he spent a lot of time in bed or lounging on the couch. He never fully recovered and was still pretty out of it for the most part. Hikaru took great care of him at first. He would make him broth, make sure he was comfortable and even refused to have sex with him until he was better.

"Ayato...Gomen...Gomen for everything I have done..." He trembled as he looked at his lover who was watching him wearily.

"N...no...gomen for...for always making you upset..." He quivered "I...I always seem to...to make you mad..." His hair was over his eyes.

He caresses his cheek "no Ayato. It isn't your fault. Anything I do is...is my fault. G...Gomen Ayato...gomen. I...I really do love you. I...I just don't know what gets into me. I don't know why I lash out..."

He winced "I...is there anything I...I can do to...to help you?" he asked his lover weakly.

"Not right now my love. You should rest. You look exhausted..." he kissed him gently and put a blanket over him "you will get better in no time" he smiled.

He kissed him back submissively and sighed "I...I hope so..." his hair fell over his eyes.

Hikaru nodded and walked to the kitchen he is even more distant now then he ever has been. Will he ever be back to his same old adorable personality? Or did I take that away from him because of my rages? I only want to protect him, and yet i am hurting him. Why am I such a damn baka? He deserves better than me. He deserves happiness... He thought. He put some water in a kettle to heat for tea and started on making some broth.

He stared blankly at the wall before collapsing into sleep. He was exhausted and just wanted the pain to go away. Hikaru was being kind to him, yet he didn't know if he could trust him. He didn't know if Hikaru was putting on a facade or if it was real. It frightened him to be honest. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were when they first started dating. Back then Hikaru was always so gentle and kind. He could always count on him, trust him. But now...now things were different and took the turn for the worse.

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Timeskip two months ahead.
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He was almost fully recovered and got some strength back, but then again he was always weak and frail anyway so that didn't matter much. He was able to walk around without help and was able to have sex, although it had to be gentle, which he preferred anyway. Luckily Hikaru was gentle with him. His lover never hurt him during his recovery process, well the sex hurt but that's normal. He was soaking in the tub surrounded by warm water and lots of bubbles. His eyes were closed as he let his body relax. Relaxation helped ease the pain. He tensed and opened his eyes hearing the home phone ring and then Hikaru yelling at someone on the other end. He sat up and looked at the door hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. His heart started pounding as he feared Hikaru was going to yell at him for whatever happened at home. He still didn't quite trust Hikaru after all.

He burst through the door and frowned seeing Ayato. He narrowed his eyes slightly "we...we need to talk..." he growled and went over to him and knelt beside the tub.

"E...eh? W...what's wrong love?" he asked nervously and shifted his position in the tub uncomfortably when Hikaru went to his side.

He looked at his frail, wet, bubble covered lover and looked away with his hair over his eyes "r...remember...h...how...you were in a...a coma for a month?" he asked, stammering.

He bit his lip "h...hai I...I guess..." he stammered "w...why? What's wrong?"

He clinched his fists "Ayato...during the time...you were in a coma, I...I did a few things I...I regret" he grit his teeth.

He frowned "g...go on love..." he stammered.

"Ayato...I...I knocked up some chick...s...she called...s...she is...four months along...a...and..."

"You what?!" his eyes were wide in shock and pain.

He winced "gomen love...a...any way...s...she will carry the...the baby until it's born...h...however...s...she said...she won't give it up for adoption, but...she doesn't want it..." he trembled.

He quivered and looked away "so...she will...give it...to you huh?" he asked weakly. He was deeply hurt. He was only out for one month yet Hikaru just had to screw someone, a woman at that. And now he was having a child with that woman, and they would be forced to take care of it. He didn't mind the idea about having a kid, it was the abuse that scared him, and his past. What if the kid got involved? He would be forced to leave Hikaru to protect the child. His hair fell over his eyes 'this is going to be a nightmare after all...' he thought.

He looked at Ayato frowning "gomen..." he murmured and reached out to place a hand on his cheek but jumped hearing a "DON'T TOUCH ME!" from his lover. He narrowed his eyes and grabbed a handful of his lovers hair yanking it "don't fucking yell at me boy!" he hissed "I'm trying to apologize damn it!" he growled.

He was caught off guard and flinched when Hikaru grabbed and yanked on his hair. His eyes widened and filled with fear "g...gomen...." he whimpered fearfully and flinched away when Hikaru let him go. He trembled and looked at the bath water "g...gomen..."

He growled "you'd better be!" he hissed and stood "get out of the bath...and make breakfast already!" he spat and went to the door smirking at him over his shoulder "only come down in an apron" he purred and walked out.

He flinched and quivered more as he shakily unplugged the drain. Everything had been fine up until now and it was his fault. Or at least he blamed himself like any abuse victim would. He continued sitting in the bath watching the soapy water spiral down the drain 'some apology. He...he doesn't know how to apologize...its always a simple "gomen" or "gomen I promise that will never happen again" but...even so I don't know if I can ever believe he is truly sorry...'  he thought and got out of the bath drying himself off. He looked at his folded clothes he laid out for himself with dull eyes 'this is all just a nightmare. My home sweet nightmare'  he thought bitterly.

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Note:
Sorry for the long wait guys! College has gotten the best of me at the moment and I have been super busy. Updates will take a long time :( sorry