Walk Out On

Chapter 4: First ones are always trials

"Take your time, because relationship that starts fast, end fast"

Let's be real, I wasn't the most attractive or the most popular girl in my class. So it turns out that I, unlike other teenager's haven't gone through the experience of "girlfriend-boyfriend". Surely, had admirer's but I didn't admire them back so it was situation where, I left them hanging. I feel so sorry for those one sided admirers who admires girls like me, hope they find true love one day.

But then we have these other type of people, who thinks they are cupid's sidekick and starts paring me up with mere strangers. These people are mostly, recognized as "best friends", clearly we all have a weird one in our group and most of the time they are your closest friend. But can't blame all that "weirdness" on the best friend, I have to take some credit for that behavior as well, we make a great duo.

After, the anxiety feelings toward Erik, realization hit me, "that I have a boyfriend already remember?",my inner conscious speaks so wise sometimes. But it's true though. Right when I was in the middle of my thoughts, I felt someone's hand rest on my shoulders. And as per, my natural reaction, I jumped a bit, a bit only with a shriek. Speak of the devil, look who it is, its Damen. My boyfriend. How did I end up with him?

Well when you have so encouraging and outgoing friends (note the sarcasm plus politeness) you want to go for it. I never had a boyfriend before, so why not go for it when one guy is after you so crazy. So I took my first step into something romantic and high school teen love like. Oh boy, was I wrong.

It started out quite normal like any other teen love story, we talked and talked until we knew each other a bit more, meaning I got to know more about Damen. I am a simple type of girl, quite new to love life with guys but not an idiot or a child to be cooed around with name calls like "baby" "babes". Honestly, I was given a name for a reason, the nick names are cute but when anything is done too many times, it gets tiring. One word to describe this boy: dramatic.

He gets more dramatic than me, and people say we females get all hyped up. I was taken by surprise when the whole school started to know I'm dating "The Damen Maslin", and how did I know this? Well, after the encounter with my class bad boy Heath, it was bound to go sky rocket. I was minding my own business and goofing around with my friends when someone said hey. Looked up to see Heath with a grin on his face. (how the scenario went on as )

Heath: hey

Sara: Hi, um can I help you??

Health: Not really, just heard that you are with Damen. Came along to see if it was true, is it?

Sara: uh, yeah, you could say that

He left after giving a smirk

Looking I realized my friends were shocked as me and just stared at each other for a few seconds before continuing on what we doing. What shocking was that, Heath being the bad boy doesn't mingle with others but he seemed nice, I just felt it, maybe I'm just not good with people yet? The girls were goofing around making up scenarios of the marriage of Damen and I would be like, and how they will be my bridesmaid. It was an adorable thought but I never went that far with my thoughts yet. So I let them enjoy their fun. No harm done.

With the bell ringing we all sprinted off for lunch, surprisingly some junior girls kept approaching me and giving me up-ahead warning to keep alert and advice on my relationship with Damen. It was a nice approach from your own kind, but then to know that the number of girls who approached were Damen's ex-girlfriends, didn't bring a joyful feeling inside me. To classify it wider, he dated the female population in my school, just imagine outside these walls how many he had already. (Note the sarcasm) Oh the joy of dating a playboy, as much as I want to say it's the perks of dating a playboy, it's not.

Day by day, Damen and I got closer and his drama increased with it. It was like a role play of "Romeo and Juliet" instead I was like Romeo and he was Juliet as he reacted so much. Nobody has a soft spot for over-reacting people, and one of them was clearly, me. He would react to the smallest thing, like how I forgot say "I love you or I miss you" after a tiring day of school and life. And patience doesn't always stay with me, it goes out of the roof, and so in the end I just leave the conversation.

Let's be real, I was seeing this relationship as a starter for other relation for the future. In simple words, I wasn't serious with this relationship, and was reaching the point where I was not turning out happy as well. My relationship with Damen is secrecy for my parents, after all I was the pure child for them, I don't blame them. So talking, meeting-up is more than the challenge for me. He got mad at me for not being able to meet up in a regular basis. Up until now I figured, he wanted more than just normal relationship. Which I was not able to give in return, small fights led me, myself to break-up a few hundred times with him and yet I give chances to see an improvement. How stupid of me.

And then the dreadful day which I knew was coming sooner or later, but a day I didn't want to face came. News of how he was cheating on me with other girls, I shouldn't be so sad or shocked on but I was in mixed feelings. In the end, I got used to him within the time period, which has led me to feel these feelings of pain, grief and anger. This news came out to me in the most unexpected way. It was Wednesday, and we had math extra class after our school ends. I walked in to feel every eye on, now this is weird as it has not happened for the past classes. I sit in between my friends, whom had circled around me, which I feel very cornered on. And then the talk began..

Nora: okay don't freak out, we have news for you. And im so sorry.

Sara: okay I won't, atleast I'll try. But tell me what this news is about * my curiosity is all over damn place*

Nora: she sighs. Well, we heard and got the proof of how Damen is cheating on you. I am so sorry Sara.

Sara: oh .. was all could be said.

Some other guys from my class even came in to this saying how they got to know from the girls he cheated with while with me. Well the way I felt, was devastating. I couldn't keep a straight face at all, obviously everyone saw the disappointment. But I guess I lost my mood for the whole class, now just had the deep wanting to go home and let my sorrow and grief out.

The moment I reached home I called, Vicky to come over, I needed some girl talk and girl power on me. As soon as I saw her, I burst in to tears, as it hurt, my heart was aching. "Why?" A word that came in, in an instant of "Why I am crying?, Why he did that to me?". After an hour or so, I finished off telling how my pitiful day went, she told me what I was saying to myself as well. "Time to end this". "Yeah, she is right", let's do this. I took my phone, I dialed his number, waited hearing the ring going on for the second time, my heart was beating like anything, and until I heard the "Hello" I was waiting to hear. I told how I wanted to end this and how I cannot keep up with something where there is no reason to keep going on about. He said "WHY?" Well, let's see, I went to class to hear from everyone you were cheating on me and that was from my friends and from outsiders. How pathetic is that. Silence was given as an answer from the other side of the phone. He denied it, hesitated for the denial as well. But I got my answer "LOUD" and "CLEAR". "I am sorry, I just can't do this anymore" and I cut the phone.

For the next few minutes, I just sat in silence which was making Vicky worried. "I'll get over it" I said to her with a weak smile. She told me not to cry and go to sleep but then I sheepishly said" maybe one last cry before a new day, I think I need to weep it out completely". She gave a genuine smile and went off as it was getting late. And as for poor me, I took a shower, got changed and went under covers with a sad heart and cried myself to sleep.

And the thought that came along to my head was that, "First ones are always trials" yeah, I guess so. This was a trial round, let's see what life puts me against next. 

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Guess it turned a bit longer than expected, but i hope you enjoy :D 

Until next time. Can't make false promises so will update ASAP :)