Markiplier Moments

Your Letter To Him

To my love.

Dear Mark,

As I write this down my mind is being flooded with thoughts that simply refuse to remain silent, in my head, like usual when I can keep them at bay. I'm not resisting it though. It must be a sign that regardless of whether you ever see this or not the words need to be brought to life. And sugar, you know how absolutely great I am at talking with this big mouth of mine. I wanted to take a different approach. One that I find more meaningful and easier to use, to me at least.

Just in case you're too busy reminding every person behind their computers watching you that life's gonna be okay, let me tell you that you are such a beautiful human being. I'm always trying to think of proper words to describe things as they seem in my head. I oftentimes go to dictionaries and thesauruses for reference on how to say what I mean. (I'd love to hear you try to say thesauruses.) Sure, there are words that get used to paint a picture of how someone feels such as beautiful, amazing, colorful, even the meta but true one; indescribable. These can all create an image from one person for another to perceive, but it's impossible to fully understand what that person is trying to depict. They could be struggling to communicate an apple to someone, describing how juicy, sweet and brightly colored it is. But another person, unable to see or feel what the other sees or feels, gets the image of an orange. This isn't a bad thing as both are quite nice, right? The person is left however, hoping their point got across clearly of that damn apple.

Wanna hear how insane this is? I couldn't attempt to explain how my eyes see you. I'll always try, even though it's a losing battle, because I'm not even sure of the picture I'm trying to describe through mere words. We as English speaking humans have developed a few adjectives and grammatical ways of doing this, they barely scratch the surface of what I feel about you Mark. My brain can't handle it.

I've been sitting here as you sleep so soundly and peacefully beside me searching up different words of description for my feelings about you. A few came to mind already; happiness, completion, beauty, addiction, pacify, perfection and imperfection, and above all, love. I love you Mark. I adore you. I need you in my life. Notice I say need, because even if at times I don't want you, please never forget how much I need you.

One day maybe someone will revolutionize the way we speak or the words we say into a much better version. Who knows? Maybe it'll be our kids, or our grandkids generations from now. Oh, I just made myself the perfect segway into telling you I'm pregnant. I'm good with words for once in my life! And no, that is not what this entire thing is about although that has been nagging me for a few weeks now. Good job dude, you helped create life inside me. Ya done good. :)

Motherhood is intimidating. My mind is already clouded full of a euphoric mix of emotions and things like that right now, but then add pregnancy to the mix. You've got yourself a witch's brew right there sugar. I couldn't be happier with anyone else. And now that our dream is coming true and I get to live it out alongside you, my friend, my love, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's going to happen either. But we're quite strong as one, so I'll make a deal renewal right here. I stick with you and you stick with me babe.

Before I get too carried away about lil baby birdie (I think we'd do better talking about it face to face y'know, since it kinda took that to make it), let me keep rambling about what a certain incredible, exquisite person has done to me. I'm having fun.

Love has nearly 30 definitions according to my dictionary. I know, crazy. Every one of them makes me think of you. Not just physically, as in an image of your beautiful face coming to mind. I think of your ways. The way you talk. The way you move. The way you love so unconditionally, something I grew up unfamiliar with. The way your four letter name being spelled out in my head connects with me and before I know it, there's a smile on my face. A happy smile, a wanting smile, a loving smile.

I'm not one to open up and spill my guts about anything, you know that. Especially not on paper where it's physically tangible. But you know what? Fuck it. It may have all been said before, so tell me if there's one that's new to you.

I love you to the depths of hell and back.

I love you in ways I can't fathom.

You're my world.

You bring out the very best in me.

Even though there is no perfect person on earth, you are perfect to me. Meaning I wouldn't change a thing about you even if I was given the offer. Well, maybe the fact that you're a morning person. But that's it.

YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. IF I'M DYING, YOU DYING WITH ME. AIN'T NO CHOICE!

Alright alright, I'm full of dumb references I know. Admit it though, that applies to us. It has since the beginning.

I wished for a lot as a kid. Happiness, inner peace, world peace, security, companionship, love. Oh the majestic word - love. Aside from other things such as the Lamborghini I wanted for a while, you fulfill my wishes and more. I'm not sure if God makes people specifically for other people, hell I don't really know what the fuck this all means or sounds like as one entire note (or novel chapter by now). You are astonishing, amazing, so talented, so nice, so strong, you are so much more than anyone could ever say or write, Mark. I know that much.

You've tossed and turned for a second before finally finding comfort in putting your leg over my lap. It's heavy, but warm. I don't mind. You look so angelic when you sleep. When your insane hair looks like it's on drugs, when you drool the smallest drop onto my shoulder every night, when you snore like a puppy having its first night's rest. Your comforting scent lingers in the blankets. It surrounds me. Your body holds mine unconsciously, and I don't know if it's because of how you feel toward me, but it makes me feel at peace with the world.

Don't let me go.

My dictionary is failing me with words to use. It's probably just my feelings going a bit too crazy for even Webster to simplify. But regardless, Mark. I love and adore you. You mean so much to the world, you mean so much to me. If you ever read this entire thing to this very point, well, I'm honestly surprised you stayed. What a journey it's been, eh?

It's just getting started.

I'm gonna hug you and kiss your whole face and I'm gonna go to sleep now. I love you Mark Edward Fischbach! I will hang on to you forever, and I will love you always.

Yours to keep,

Y/N