A Beautiful Mess

Chapter 6

I woke up to the sound of Aries laughing. I moved, reaching for him, forgetting Clarke was there all together. Except my hands hit the mattress, neither of them were in my bed with me. I sat up quickly, afraid something was wrong. My eyes adjusted slowly to the light that filtered in through the window. Clarke held him in her arms, her back was towards me. She was dancing him around, singing a song I didn't understand. I smiled as I watched them, Aries giggling as he threw his hands up and she kept singing for him.

He reached for her, pressing his face against hers. It was a beautiful sight, a bittersweet one as I watched them from afar. My baby and the one girl I'd lose everything for. They loved each other more than I ever thought was possible. They shared a bond a mother and son would have. Blood didn't matter to either of them. It didn't matter to me either. I ran my hand through my hair, wishing all mornings could be like this.

Last night had been interesting. It had been nice compared to the tension that filled me whenever Clarke was around after seeing her with someone else. It killed me to know she had been with someone, no matter who it was. Even when I thought back to her and Finn there was an ache in my chest. Because I wanted her to choose me. I wanted her to tell me she felt everything I was feeling and more.

Aries's brown eyes met mine, "hi!"

I laughed as Clarke stopped dancing, her tank top slipping off her shoulder as she turned around and looked at me. A blush spread across her cheeks, her little smile making her even cuter as she looked at me embarrassed to be caught dancing with my son, "oh, you're awake. His fever broke two hours ago. But you looked like you needed some sleep, so I didn't want to wake you. We've been keeping each other company."

I rubbed my eyes, "what time is it?"

"Almost noon, sleepy head," she said laughing as she walked towards the bed and Aries reached for me. I pulled him into my arms and kissed his cheek, his little smile spreading even more across his face, "he needs to learn a new word. As cute as his little hi is, it's not impressive anymore."

I laughed just as he gasped, "hi!"

Clarke laughed loudly as he clapped his hands at our approval, "Octavia said her first word at six months. His hi is pretty impressive to me. Although I think daddy would be even better," I tickled under his chin, "say daddy, Aries. Dad-dy."

"Hi," he slapped my cheek. I shook my head, kissing his cheek and then tickling him as he kept giggling. I blew a slobbery kiss against his cheek, sending him into even bigger fits of laughter.

Clarke stood there watching us, smiling with her arms folded across her chest. She kept watching, her blue eyes full of something I wasn't about to figure out, as I stood up and carried him to the little crib I had made for him the other night when we came here instead of her cabin. The quiet fell between us and I knew what was about to happen. Now that we were done worrying, reality was hitting us once more.

After a moment she sighed, "so I don't want to break up this beautiful moment, but I uh. Last night, before Aries got hurt. We were talking."

I nodded, "yeah. We were."

"I don't want to fight," she chose her words carefully as Aries laid down in his bassinet. He was still at that age where he took a nap every hour it seemed. Clarke finished putting the bottle together and then handed it to me. Her fingers brushed mine, sending a spark down my spine as I looked at her.

"Me either," I agreed as Aries sucked on the bottle and closed his eyes, "but I do think we, Aries and I, should stay in our own cabin now. He's getting bigger, which means I'll have to build another room. I just, don't want to burden you with those things. He's not yours, which means you get to have a life too."