A Beautiful Mess

Chapter 10

It was raining. The sky was gray but for the most part it was warm. Life seemed to be moving on and it never looked better for me. I woke up beside the most beautiful woman every morning. I got to fall asleep holding her too. We shared every moment with Aries, big and small. His little giggles and words made every single day seem brighter. Like I said life was good.

Still the work didn't stop. Both of us still had jobs to go to, even if we wanted to spend every moment together. I had changed my rotation when Aries was born to get out of the night shifts, but it didn't hurt that Clarke changed her shifts once we were seeing each other. We spent every night watching Aries crawl around and holding hands. I couldn't have been happier, I never thought life on the ground could be this good.

The gray sky made me wish to be back at the cabin with Clarke. She had off today, which meant her and Aries were hanging out without me. I wanted him to love Clarke as much as I do, but I didn't want her to love him more than me. I had finally gotten her to see me, finally admitted to her how I felt. I sighed as I pushed the toe of my boot into the dirt as I paced the length of the wall.

Keeping watch was lonely and boring. When Clarke was gone I used to envision her coming back through those gates and greeting me. I would've stood here all day if it meant the chance to see her through the bars, to know that she was okay. When she came back I wanted to hate her. I wanted to be mad at her, but I couldn't be. Not when those blue eyes held so much pain and such a heavy burden.

I would gladly share that burden, if it mean she would stop blaming herself for what happened at the mountain.

"Bell," Octavia smiled as she walked towards the wall, "I'm surprised you made it to your shift. I heard you and Griffin can't even make it to dinner these days."

I rolled my eyes, "ha ha O. I'll have you know we prefer to eat dinner with Aries because he's crawling everywhere. If we stay in the cabin we can contain him," I hugged my sister as she shook her head.

"Right, whatever you say," she kissed my cheek, "I'm happy for you two, Bell. I'm only kidding. Is Clarke with Aries? I need to pay my nephew a visit."

I flashed her a smile, "yeah she's watching him, she has off today. Tell her I said hey."

She pursed her lips, "I'll give her a big old kiss for you too."

She winked at me as I gave her the finger and then she was off towards my cabin. I wondered what Octavia would think if I told her about my plan. Of course she would be thrilled, and then warn me against having the wedding before hers. She wanted to be the center of attention when she finally married Lincoln. I would let her have her day, but I couldn't want to see a ring on Clarke's finger.

The hours passed by slowly, my mind wandering from Clarke to Aries and back again. I thought about Gina, I wondered if she would be okay with Clarke taking her place. I wondered if she would be happy that we had found each other again. Or if she would be okay with her son being loved by another mother that wasn't her.

The sun started to try and peak out from behind the clouds when it was finally time for my shift to be done. I relaxed my shoulders as my gun fell to my side, turning to face the camp, waiting for whoever it was to replace me. I wanted to get home and get some dry clothes on. I wanted to eat dinner with my two favorite people.

"Hey Bell!" Miller called my name as I stood on the wall waiting, "Kane says to relieve you."

"Thanks," I turned my foot ready to jump down. But the water had accumulated. I didn't realize there was a puddle until my boot slipped and I started to fall backwards. I let out a grunt as I felt myself falling through the air.