preferences. → star wars

[33] Insecurities

Obi-Wan

You sighed as you raised your hand, focusing all of your energy on lifting a weight placed a few feet ahead of you. You had been practicing this for a few days, but the most you had gotten out of it was a little shift before it collapsed onto the ground again.

'Still training?' Obi-Wan asked, appearing behind you silently. You turned and ran a hand through your hair, trying to detangle the stress that was rising in knots in your mind.

'Yeah,' you admitted, voice hoarse from exertion. 'I can't seem to do it.'

'Don't overwork yourself,' Obi-Wan offered you a hand, which you gratefully took to pull yourself up onto your feet. 'Heaven knows that you'll only stress yourself out further if you keep working like this. You need to take it easy, (Y/N),'

'But...' you chewed your lip, glancing down at the object. 'I feel as if I'm not good enough. I mean, it's just a weight. How simple can it be? By the Force, I'm pathetic. I'm surprised anyone even tries bothering to train me,'

Obi-Wan's eyebrows knitted together. 'You're not pathetic.'

'I am,' you protested, feeling an overwhelming wave of self-hatred wash over you. 'It's really not that hard. Why can't I do it? Perhaps my power was overestimated,'

'Don't speak like that,' Obi-Wan caught your hand gently as you threw it up in frustration. 'You must let go of this self-hatred you feel. How are you supposed to develop within your power if you're just going to doubt yourself? You can do it, and I know you can. It's as easy as lifting a pen,'

'Then why am I struggling?' You grumbled.

'Because you're not trusting yourself, or the Force,' he explained, realizing that this incapability to complete a simple task had deeper roots than he thought. 'Go and rest. Tomorrow will be a better day, I promise. And I can definitely assure you that you'll be lifting this weight in no time.'

Though the doubt still lingered, you nodded and sighed in defeat. 'Alright. If you say so.'

___

Your eyes snapped open and you grinned joyfully at the sight of the weight hovering in front of you though you refused to lose focus. You tested your strength, moving the weight lower, higher, left and right, and you couldn't help but feel a flood of happiness warm your heart as it dropped when you commanded it to. 

'See? You can do it,' Obi-Wan said, throwing an arm around your shoulders. 'You just need to believe in yourself, and you can achieve anything.'

Anakin Skywalker

You turned around, watching your reflection grimace in disgust at the sight that was presented to it. Due to your more athletic background, you had fewer curves than most women around and you couldn't help but envy the voluptuous women in all of their curvy glory.

Wincing, you thought of what Anakin must think whenever he saw your body. He probably refrained from saying anything other than compliments just because he felt sorry for you, and the thought of him feeding you lies made your heart sink a little.

'My love, what are you doing?' Anakin asked, rubbing his eyes as he awoke from his slumber. You reached for your silk robe and draped it over your body, then throwing your hair over your shoulders.

'Nothing.'

Anakin's tired appearance shifted to that of concern as he felt the insecurity pulsing off of your emotions. Gently, he lifted himself to his feet and stood beside you at the mirror. 

'Mind if I...?' Anakin reached for the strap of your dressing gown, and you nodded hesitantly, feeling slightly embarrassed at the request but far too intrigued to turn it down. He loosened the robe before slipping it off of your shoulders, and the feeling of his fingertips slowly grazing your bare skin sent a shiver down your spine. 'Look in the mirror,'