Eddie's Alterego I

The Beginning Of Something

The lighter flicked out the flame and a sound of smoke being drawn in followed. My mouth was filled with a taste that put an end to the cravings inside me. I was killing my living self each time I breathed. A sense of accomplishment was felt with each drag. This cannot end well, I thought to myself as my fingers reached the end of my mouth - Ready for my next drag.

I was pushed and pulled deeper into this hole of dirt. A part of me wanted to lay down in a coffin and breathe smoke while the other wanted me to be just like the others around me. Normal. Before I could make out for myself I was already sitting in the wrong room with the wrong people at the wrong time.

I've been asked to change by many a-people. To become the same person as I was in the past. All that's there now is the drugs, drums and the slow drips. I am the average junkie you'll find at the end of every block and every stinking shithole.

I have become the person I once despised and now I have created a sense of liking towards it. What do I want? I really wish there could be something more to this. Something more to my life than what I have at the moment. I desire to be clean. Sober. I wonder sometimes if that is more than what I can ever have.

But I've had the lot of it and the only thing it does to me is send me tumbling deeper into this place of absolute oblivion. I shall never know if I'll get out this in one piece. But today is a new day and also The Beginning of Something.