Octavia (Completed - 2018 Watty's Longlist)

Chapter Six - Edmund

Last night was the worst sleep I've had since Mom died. Unanswered questions and memories of the other day ran through my head. My first day was definitely a day to remember.
My thoughts wouldn't let me sleep. I tried music, I tried to watch television, read a book but nothing seemed to work.

Later that night as I was thinking of the time in the cafeteria I remembered her name. Octavia Spencer. Her name gave me goosebumps. It was such a strong name that suited her to a tea.
Octavia Spencer never once left my head. She was all I thought about. She was my first morning thought. She was my during class ponder. She was always there in my dreams.
I kept thinking about how she looked. How pale her skin was. Almost white, strong and perfect like porcelain. There wasn't a flaw to be seen. How dark her hair was that it contrasted with her white skin perfectly, making her golden brown eyes stand out like Topazes.
She was beautiful. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. She was so beautiful that I couldn't believe she was real. Which made me think that I made her up. Maybe I have gone crazy. How could a girl so perfect exist?

The next day at school, she wasn't there. Which made me believe that A; I had made her up or B; she really did hate me. Though again, I don't know why. How could she hate me? I haven't even done anything to her. Which made me believe that option A was the case.
As each lesson went by and lunch would arrive I would get nervous. I think that's what you could call it. I was nervous and scared. I knew she wasn't at school. But I had this feeling that I would be walking down the hallway, or looking around the cafeteria and suddenly see her. Her loathing eyes, glaring at me from across the room. Her face set in hard stone. She carried no other emotion on her face but hate.
I guess what Josh said about her was true. She really did hate everyone. And I guess bumping into her in the hallway put me on her 'hate' list.

I remember lying in bed one night, building up enough courage to confront her the next day at school. I rehearsed and I thought of things that I would say to her. I would hold my ground, be strong and never give in. Though who was I kidding? I would never say a word to Octavia Spencer.

As I walked into the cafeteria with Josh, I tried to keep my eyes from glancing around the room, though failing completely as I saw her sister sitting at the same table. Octavia was not with her, as usual.
Though, when Crystal interrupted us and directed us to her table, Josh seemed ecstatic by the attention and eagerly followed her. But as I listened to their simple chatter, I was incredibly uncomfortable as I waited for the moment that she would walk through those doors. I hoped that when she came she would just completely ignore me to prove my suspicions wrong. At least it would be better than hating me.
She didn't come, and as lunch passed, I grew less and less tense. I walked to Science with a little more confidence.

Crystal, who was taking on the role of a lost sheep, walked close by my side during breaks between classes. I held my breath and prepared myself as I approached the door, but Octavia Spencer wasn't there. I relaxed and calmly went to my seat. Crystal followed, like always, and talked about a future trip to the beach. She stayed by my desk till the bell rang. She smiled at me wistfully before sitting next to a guy with a bad Afro. It seemed like I'm gonna have to do something about Crystal, and it wasn't going to be easy.
I had always taken care of my Mom which meant girls were never in the picture. They were never thought of. Between school and taking care of Mom, I was lucky enough to keep a few friends. I had never been enormously taken interested in, so I had no practice dealing with overly friendly girls.

I was relieved that I had the desk to myself, that Octavia was absent. I told myself that over and over, trying to get the stupid repetitive suspicion that I was somehow the reason she wasn't here. It was absurd and totally wrong of me to think that I could affect someone that way. It was impossible. And yet, I couldn't help think that it could be true.
As the school day was finally over and I successfully avoided my follower for the time being, I walked quickly to the car park. It was packed with students leaving the school. I got into my car and double checked my bag to make sure I had everything.