I'm Not That Innocent

Friends?

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re slowly suffocating? That was pretty much mine and Thomas’ relationship. Everywhere I went, there he was. Practically every text I received, from him. Rather than the nice laidback guy I had perceived him to be, he was coming across rather needy. I rarely had time to see Becky anymore, who had been quite distant lately anyway. I hoped she didn’t think I was being a dirty little sell out who fucked her friends off as soon as he got a boy.

There was a benefit of Thomas consuming so much of my time; I was unable to see Matt. My heart longed to see him, to explain about the last time that we had met. I couldn’t though, I was with Thomas I should have been forgetting about Matt. Instead I found my thoughts turning to him. When me and Thomas held hands all I could think about was the warmth I felt holding Matt’s as he led me to his apartment for the first time. When me and Thomas kissed I could taste Matt’s lips and how sweet they had been in the cafe which we shared our first kiss. When Thomas held me in his arms I felt it should be Matt’s arms around me. But it wasn’t. The reason being that I had royally screwed things up, destroyed any hope of us ever being together and that broke my heart. In my heart I was betraying Matt but my head knew otherwise. I was driving myself slowly insane.

All in all I had been with Thomas for about a month by this point, already he was making me regret my decision to get with him. We did have a laugh together; he was just too in your face. Even worse still he insisted on calling me ‘Aimey Waimey’ I literally had to stop myself from vomiting each and every time I heard it. In all fairness I had tried to make it work, I did want it to work deep down. Scratch that deep, deep, deep down. It wasn’t fair for me to lead him on like this because I just didn’t feel anything other than a friend to him. I had expected to feel more as time went on but nothing. No butterflies, no sparks, no getting lost in his eyes. Zilch. Zero. Nada.

Who knows? Maybe if I had met Thomas before all the boy drama things would have worked out. No wait they wouldn’t. He was too god damn needy. A sigh escaped my lips as the realisation of what I had to hit me. I had to end things with Thomas before he got too hurt.

My fingers quickly tapped out the text just as I prepared to press send my phone vibrated alerting me to a new text. Probably Thomas.

‘Aimes, I’m sorry but things aren’t gonna work out. I don’t think your heart is into it, and I want you to be happy. Hope we can stay friends :) <3 xx’

If I’m honest I was relieved that he had ended it rather than me having to do it. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was free again. Part of me was begging me to a happy dance but I managed to control myself. The first thing I did was dial Becky’s number.

“Hello there, guess who’s once again singleton?” I laughed.

“You dumped him then?” she asked

“Not exactly. He kinda dumped me. Guess how he did it too? By text,” I pretended to gasp.

“Ouch. Who knew he had it in him?” she laughed.

“Mall?” I asked.

“Mall,” she confirmed.

My parents had finally pulled their fingers out and bought me a car at long last. As I pulled up at the mall I glanced in my rear view mirror. Behind me Matt was walking hand in hand with a brunette. As they got closer I realised it was that skank who had kissed him. Brunette or not she still looked like a skank. Of course my best friend appeared out of nowhere at that precise moment and pulled open my car door.

“Aimes!” she shrieked loud enough for Matt and his skank to notice.

Muttering under my breath that Becky was my best friend or she’d be dead I plastered on a fake smile as I climbed out of my car to come face to face with Matt. At the sight of me his slut began to walk away.

“Aimee. You’re looking great. How are you?” Matt asked whilst running his fingers through his hair.

“Matt. Yeah I’m fine thanks. I...ermmm...best be off. See you around, yeah?” I quickly said before racing off.

Over the last month Matt was all I could think about. I actually felt bad for being with Thomas and yet he decided to get together with the bitch that fucked things up between us. As soon as I thought this she wasn’t the bitch that messed things up. I was.

Becky reached me rather out of breath; I had completely forgotten she was there. I just needed to get away.

“Retail therapy?” she asked.

I nodded in reply and walked in the direction of the mall. I spent most of the afternoon walking around in daze. Matt had moved on, he didn’t need me anymore. How could I have been so stupid to think that he wouldn’t move on?We were never together in the first place, so it’d be natural for him to get with someone. It did sting knowing that she’d be the one kissing him; cuddling up to him at night and getting to tell him that she loved him. Things I’d never be able to do now.

Later that night my thoughts were interrupted by my phone.

‘So I see you and Tommy boy have split up, was he not man enough for you baby? If you want a real man you know where to find me ;)’ Jase had text.

That boy really was such a sleaze, within hours of me splitting up with my boyfriend he was already trying to hit on me. I smirked to myself as everything fell into place. He was not going to know what hit him!

Hey guys! Another chapter! I hope you enjoy and please leave your feedback and lemme know what you think of it. I chose the first video of Thinking Of You cos I feel it relates more to the story. :)