Carmen

I'm Sorry

I know you hear me,

I can taste it in your tears.

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you.

Sweet rapture and life,

It ends here tonight.

Closing your eyes

You pray your dreams will leave you here,

But still you wake and know the truth -

No one's there.

Say goodnight, don't be afraid

Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black.

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Carmen

     I knocked on the door to Jacob's house. He opened the door, wiping his eyes, examining me as he stood there.

"Hi.." I said. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you"  He walked inside letting me in. 

"Talk to me about what?" he said.

"Us...." 

"What about us? I didn't even know there was an us... ever since that Chres dude came in" 

"There wasn't an us.... but I wanted there to be an us." I said.

"Did you break up with him or something...." 

"No......."

"Then why are you here talking about some 'us' if yall are still together?"

"Because I'm in love with you..." I choked out. 

"I wanted to be in love with you..." he said.

"What happened?" 

"That night.... when I told you I didn't love you... I lied. He stood up and pased the floor. 

"Why did you-"

"I didn't want a relationship at the time. I had the reputation of this heartless cool guy and I didn't want everyone to know I was in love...."

"WELL FUCK JACOB! you had me crying all those months! We could've been something how could you be so ignorant" I stood up with him, practically grilling him on how stupid he was.

"You had me thinking I wasn't good enough for you! and to think I went out my-" He interupted me by pulling me in to a deep kiss. He deepened it as if he really needed it. I kissed him back as we fell back on the couch.... and then thats when it happened....

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I woke up on Jacob's couch unsure of what just happened. I was basically butt ass naked out in the open. I got up to gather all my clothes and put them back on and dashed out of the house. I think I just had sex with him.... I can't believe this. I can't believe him. I drove over to my house, I forgot I told Chres I was gonna be back, by the way he was blowing up my phone Im guessing he didn't forget.  I just couldn't really face him at the moment. As much as I wanted to tell my brother what just happened.. I couldn't face him either... instead I just crawled in my bed and went to sleep.