Death's game

Chapter 31~ Never the same

The long train ride was the most peace I'd felt in a long time. I sat in silence watching the world fly by outside the window. I wasn't sure what I was even going to say to anyone in Denver. Was I even going home? I wasn't sure that I wanted to see my parents. After all they'd gotten me into this mess in the first place. I had nothing to say to them except for one thing...

Maybe I'd stop by just long enough to say it.

/*\*/*\*/*\*/

Denver was exactly how I'd left it. Refreshing and welcoming, full of life and people going in a million directions.

Except now I felt like an outsider. I didn't belong here anymore. I didn't have that bubbly attitude and carefree smile anymore. It all seemed so false to me now. Everyone putting on a show for those around them trying so hard to convince them all that they were happy and had everything they could ever want.

I felt like I'd walked into a tv show, one of which I was no longer a character.

I still knew the way to my house, walking there without even having to think about which turns to take. It was all still filed away in the back of my mind.

Pausing as I reached the door, I took a moment to collect my thoughts. I had so much I wanted to say but at the same time I had nothing to say to them- the people who'd indirectly turned me into a horrible person.

After taking a deep breath, I pressed the doorbell and stood waiting for a few moments. The door swung open, my mom standing in the opening her face engulfed by a look of astonishment.

"Honey!" She called over her shoulder, "Annabelle's here! Come!"

My dad rushed around the corner and nearly crushed me with a hug. The second he released me my mother proceeded to also squeeze the life out of me.

"How are you? Why'd you come so unexpectedly?" My mom asked, still quite ecstatic.

"I'm not staying." I stated quickly, "I only came to say one thing because I thought I should tell you in person."

Her expression became immediately crestfallen, my father's a mirror of hers, "What? Why not? What is it you want to tell us?"

Clenching my grip, I started speaking before I could lose my nerve, "Ever since I was little- every time I moved schools I felt a small piece of myself die as I realized more and more that nothing I did would ever be good enough to please you. I would never be able to meet your standards and I've always felt as though my ability to meet your unachievable standards determined how much you loved me. No matter how hard I try I'm always at fault and you never believe me when I tell you my side of the story. I feel like in your eyes I'm nothing more than a piece of shattered glass, as though you both view me as worthless and broken. I thought maybe Weston would be the time I finally earned you love and approval but here I am so I guess that wasn't the case. You have no idea what's happened since you sent me away. And I guess you never will because I'm not coming back and you'll never find me again. You know what they said- what goes around comes around. You never loved me and now I no longer love you either. So I guess I'm really just here to say goodbye."

I couldn't tell all the emotions I watched flash through their eyes even if I tried. I saw everything from regret to anger and sadness. They both stared at me in a dazed state- what was a parent supposed to say to that? Nothing I suppose.