Death's game

Chapter 30~ Choice

I couldn't get over the smug look on the owner's face as if he was totally sure that I would choose to be one of his lethal pawns in whatever bigger game he was playing. He looked so sure; so confident.

The owner looked a lot more sure and in control than I felt. Or had felt- ever, actually. That didn't help, it only made me hate him all the more.

Why would I possibly want to go to the training facility just to end up killing more people? The two so far were more than I'd ever have wanted, the guilt of killing them was killing me. But yet here was the owner, wearing a smirk that was somehow more insolent than usual. Just waiting for me to give in.

I glanced at Jett, but he was only looking at his feet and he silently leaned against the wall at the base of the stairs.

As I stood there, unsure, filled with guilt and anger, I felt completely lost. What had happened to me? To my life? All I had ever wanted was to stay at one school and not get labeled as things I'm not, and don't want to be, just because of my blonde hair. I just wanted my parents to accept me for trying my best, not shoving their impossible standards down my throat. Even a valedictorian wouldn't meet their expectations. And now here I am, a murderer at a boarding school in Finland. When the hell had my life gone so wrong? Why couldn't it have been easy? Why couldn't I have stayed at Weston with Chris, and Megan and Max? Why did I have to leave and loose Megan and become a terrible person? Oh yeah. Because my parents got an email and sent me here. And because the owner is insane and needs trained killers for God knows what.

Did I want to join their facility? No, not really. Not on my to-do list or bucket list last time I checked.

But it also occurred to me that things would never go back to normal. Whatever normal even was. How could I simply carry on and pretend nothing ever happened. It happened, and three people were dead, two because of me. What else could I still do with my life? What career would ever come close to helping me forget? What could I do with my life while knowing that I've killed two people? Normal didn't exist for me anymore. I gave up normal the second I pulled that trigger the first time.

The owner stared at me, unmoving, expecting an answer.

I was about to ask if I could think about it, but the last thing I was going to do was ask him for anything. "I'll let you know when I decide." I stated with an edge to my tone as I walked off to the stairs.

Jogging briskly up the steps, I heard footfall echoing behind me but I didn't turn around. Even though I was hoping it was Jett and not his father.

I went through the door at the top of the stairs and headed for the next stairwell, heading back to the ghost town hallway somewhere up in the school.

Jett followed me, picking up his pace just slightly until he caught up to me.

"Hey," Jett said as he came up next to me, "can we talk?"

My pulse jumped a bit, I ignored it, keeping an emotionless front even though Jett was not his father by any stretch. "About what?" I interrogated.

He rolled his eyes at me, "Stop being so guarded, ok? I'm not my dad. I would've killed myself a long time ago if I were him."

"Okay, fine," I relaxed slightly, realizing that I had been missing him, even if I wouldn't admit it, "we can talk."

"Thanks." He added, being jokingly sarcastic as he took my hand and tapped his bracelet. The usual feeling of teleportation weirdness came over me, and then it was gone, leaving behind new surroundings. I recognized them though, the couch, the balcony- Jett's place.