lostmyhead

School

I can't deal with school anymore seriously. There is too much going on and I'm just so confused on what to fucking do. Friendships I cherish most are breaking and I don't how to fix them. I don't know what to say or how to deal with these things. I don't even want to come to school because of all this. They're are so many arguments and I'm involved in nearly everyone of them and it fucking sucks. I won't know what the problem is about but I'll still be involved somehow. People not even part of our group are getting involved and just I want everything to stop. I want everything to go back to normal. I don't want anymore drama please. Everyone is stressed and frustrated.

The last few days were probably the worst though. Everything is just going down hill. At school and at home. At home there is just argument every where I turn. Everyone is always mad. It's either we don't talk at all or have a really big argument where everyone gets hurt. I usually can deal with it alone but with school adding on to that I just feel like shit. People are turning their backs on everyone. There are misunderstandings everywhere. People bitching about everyone and just people losing their friendships. I don't even know if I can trust anyone at school anymore. I don't even want to go to school ever again and I used to like going to school. I just hate everything that is happening.

Today was a bad day. Worse than bad actually. Today was the day where I couldn't hold anything in anymore. I would bottle everything up and keep everything to myself but today I just let it out. I just cried today. I nearly cried in the morning, cried in the afternoon and I'm crying right now as I'm writing this. I hate crying but I miss the feeling of it as well. I guess you could say I haven't cried in a very long time.

I have to go to school tomorrow and I really don't want to. I have a bad feeling about it. Something is not going to go well I just feel it. I really want to change schools. I want to go to a school my best friend goes to. I'll be so much happier there honestly. Right now at this school I feel like I can't do anything right and I can't make anyone happy.

I really want to leave. I want to leave school. I want to leave home, but most of all I want to leave this place. I'll be happier and so will everyone else. Only thing that's stopping me now is time. I'm just waiting but I know it will all be over soon
-jessica xx