lostmyhead

overthinking

I don't know if you have realised but I do this thing called overthinking and like idk it's kinda annoying. Like it could be as simple as going out with friends and my mind would overthink like a mad woman.
Thoughts like

What if I miss my train?
What if I miss my stop?
What if the plan cancels and I gotta go home?

Would come to my head and then when I arrive at the place maybe just a little too early I start to panic a little and think

What if they're late because they got hurt?
What if they don't turn up at all and I'll be waiting here for God knows how long?
What if they were all just fucking with me?

Like idk it's just really annoying and I need to stop overthinking. I want to stop thinking in general actually like my thoughts are slowly killing me.

I get so lost in my thoughts sometimes like I could sit still in one place for hours and just think endlessly. Sometimes i will unconsciously think and idk it's just annoying. And half the time I don't understand my thoughts like I can't exactly put two and two together I guess idk all I know is I overthink everything all the time.

Overthinking is also a reason why sleep is not my friend. I would lose hours of sleep just lying in bed looking at the ceiling and thinking. I would replay everything that has happened in the day and just keep thinking over and over specific events that would stand out to me.

I also don't really like being alone unless I need to think. When I'm alone I just overthink everything I do because there is no one there to keep my mind busy I guess. And it's kinda quiet so there is nothing to stop my mind from thinking as well. I need to talk to people to stop thinking.

Why is there such thing as overthinking honestly just fuck off bc it's driving me fucking mad and I absolutely hate it.

One thing I do to stop me from overthinking when I'm alone and not bothered to do anything is music like I would listen to music and just listen to the beat and listen to the lyrics and just relax. I'm still thinking yes but I'm not overthinking. I'm just thinking about the music and I just get so lost in the music.
It's great and it's also a really good way to de-stress

When I'm bothered to do things I would make myself a warm cup of tea and put on some music and just draw or sit outside (if it's good weather) and just write down everything I see, feel, hear, smell or taste.

Sad thing though is that they don't always work so I'm usually stuck with my fucking thoughts and just ughhh help me.

I need to find more ways to stop overthinking.

Thank you for reading my little rant about how I find me overthinking annoying

:) xx