The Inevitable

Moving Forward

I sat on an old log watching Daryl dog a hole in the ground. Every creek around was dry. We were low on water and almost completely out of food. We had a can of beans to share and canned tuna. Everywhere we've been has been stripped clean of supplies. This was the first time in a long time that I honestly thought I'd die out here.
"Hell yeah."
Daryl pulled a worm out of the ground and dangled it above his mouth.
"Please tell me you're not going to eat that."
"I'm not."
Daryl tossed it in his mouth and turned back towards me. He leaned forward and I put my hand up.
"You're not kissing me after you just are a worm."
"Come on, Ali."
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. I started laughing and he held me tighter.
"Go back to digging your hole, worm breath."
"Fine. I don't like you anyway."
He dug for a few more minutes before announcing we should head back. The group was sitting against the van without water. We were pretty close to being screwed.
Two miles later we ran out of gas. We grabbed what we needed and ditched the rest. I held Daryl's hand as we walked. Rick was carrying Judith beside us.
"She's hungry."
"She's fine. She'll be fine."
"We need to find water. Food."
"We'll find some on the road."
Daryl let go of my hand and kissed my cheek.
"I'm going to see what I can find."
"I'll keep an eye out for you."
I walked beside Rick and played with Judith's hand.
"She's still healthy, Rick. She can probably hold out another day."
"And then?"
"There's no telling. We'll figure something out."
He nodded and glanced back at the others.
"Daryl say much about Beth?"
"Not much. He usually catches himself before he mentions her. He loved her like family and I know it hurts him. He'll talk eventually."
"Sure about that?"
"No, but I like to think so."
We stopped at the bridge ahead and he handed me Judith. I walked across and watched as they threw the walkers below. Sasha killed one of them and the walkers got riled up. It didn't take long for them to go down.
I grabbed Abraham as he walked past and handed Judith to him.
"I'm fine, Doc."
"I'm not risking infection on top of everything else."
I wiped his arm clean and grabbed a bandage out of my bag. It was a miracle I had anything left.
"There. Now you can look manly with a bandage."
"Here's the baby."
Rick grabbed Judith before I could grab her. It was good to see him being with her. Before it was like we lost him along with Lori, but not now. Not anymore. We have him back every last piece of him.
"There's cars over the hill."
"Allison I want you to rest while we look around."
"Rick-"
"No arguing."
"Yes, dad."
I walked away to find somewhere to sit down. I settled myself on the hood of a car. My feet were killing me by the time I sat down. I wanted to take my boots off, but if anything happened I'd be running barefoot.
Daryl sat beside me covered in even more dirt. I brushed some hair away from his eyes.
"I miss her, Ali. I was supposed to protect her and she died. She just.."
He choked on his words and I pulled him towards me. Rick looked over, but I shook my head.
"You couldn't have stopped it Daryl, but you tried. She knows you fought for her. You wouldn't have come back if you didn't."
"I killed that woman."
"I know, but she shot Beth. I would've done the same if I was there. I'm sorry about what happened, Daryl. If I could change it I would."
"We were so close.."

I sat on the side of the road with the others. Abraham was drinking what he found in one of the cars. If I could I would've joined him.
"Do you hear that?"
Something snapped and a pack of dogs came out of the woods. Daryl put his hand on my stomach and pulled out his knife. I jumped as the dogs hit the ground. Sasha stood there with her gun. Without a word Rick built a fire.
It was the first real thing we had to eat in a few days. I didn't even want to think about the dog I was eating. Something that would've been running around our backyards was now dinner. What a world we live in.
Daryl helped me off the ground and we started moving again if any walkers were around they'd smell the meat and come looking. Daryl left the group again and went back to the woods.
We walked up to a bunch of water bottles with a sign on top.
"From a friend?"
"What do we do?"
I looked over at Daryl and saw he was hiding his hand behind his leg. I walked up behind him and took it before he could move. There was a burn mark beside his thumb about the size of a cigarette.
"Daryl.."
"Leave it alone."
There's was a long rumble of thunder and it started to rain. Everyone set their water bottles on the ground while I stared at Daryl. He looked so broken. It killed me. I still had my hands on his face when the storm rolled in.
"There's a barn."
"Where?"
Daryl walked away from me and led the group out of the rain. I grabbed his arm before he walked into the barn.
"Talk to me!"
"Right now?"
"Yes! What the hell is this, Daryl?"
He looked away from me and stared at the tree line. The rain poured down on us. Dirt rolled off his skin in drops. I wondered if it was all just the rain.
"It hurts.. We've lost too many people, Ali!"
"I know! And I know you loved Beth, but hurting yourself isn't the right way to go about this!"
"Why does it matter?"
"Because I lost people too, Daryl, and right now it feels like I'm losing the person I love the most in this world. Please.."
The rain drowned out our voices so much whether or not he heard me was questionable. Finally he put his hand on the back of my neck and kissed me. It was like he was begging for the pain to stop and I couldn't give him that. I couldn't make it stop, but I could manage it. So that's what I was going to do.