Make Me

»angriness

this chapter is dedicated to dopedallas24 i love you koala-llama.

***

Allison stood there, her hair was messy because she kept running her hands thorough her hair, she was a bit unstable on her feet and I could see tears on her fair skin.

I took a step forward, "Allison-" She laughed and came towards me with her long strides.

"If you want to talk about it, then come to my house. Someone said, I guess I'm in the wrong house then." She snapped at me and looked at Stiles with a scowl.

"Allison, no he just-" I again got interrupted by her laugh.

"Fuck you Lydia Martin." Allison looked down at me with a disgusted expression on her pale face and turned around, closing the door rather harshly. A loud bang of the door echoed though the lonely, big house. She left me there, looking at the closed door.

Those words cut deep in to my fragile heart, I gasped for air. Confusion was soon replaced with sour sadness, and hot tears blurred my vision. I couldn't breath.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and silence filled the whole room. Stiles sighed and started speaking, "Lydia-"

"Stiles, no. Go home." I broke away from his warm aroma and looked straight in to his eyes. Those eyes were like milk chocolate, so smooth yet so hard like a tree bark.

He nodded and left, leaving me all alone.

I fell on my knees. Tears stained my face and I started hiccuping. I'm such a fucking bad friend. I'm such a weak person. I'm a loser who is a nothing.

I started counting seconds, every second that passed left me being there in the hallway all alone and broken.

1
2
3
4
s
e
c
o
n
d
s

Dried up tears sticked on my face as if somebody put glue on my face. I gave a weak sniff and tried to stand up but couldn't. Falling on my knees and hands I fell down on the floor again. Instead of trying to stand up again, I laid on my back and looked at the high ceiling.

A small weak smile was playing on my face while I drew the patterns of the wallpaper with my finger in the air. It felt nice. I felt like I didn't need to hurry anywhere. I don't need to talk to anyone right now, just me, myself, and wild thoughts.

Wild depressing thoughts.

***

It took me a while to get my body work functionally again, but mostly Angela helped me. And now I am here, laying down on my bed and watching the 100. Joy accompanied me when I put the fresh, hot pizza on my bed. I sighed quietly and closed my eyes when the opening credits came with some dramatic music.

My cat was sleeping near my hip and her calming warmth radiated from her to my cold body. Pillows of different sizes and colors were all around me. I snuggled in to the softness of it and pulled the bed covers closer to me, which woke up my cat.

Joy stood up and stretched, she looked up to me with her emerald eyes. Her fur was orange with white stripes. She looked like an ordinary cat, but wait until you see her attitude towards strangers. She was skinny for a cat her age, but so was I.

She blinked at me and meowed.

I smiled and started patting her soft little head, and she came closer to me. I could hear a faint sound of her purring and the tv show already started.

["Well that's something that I thought I'll never see." Said Octavia from the 100.

Bellamy and Clarke kept hugging and smiling at each other.]

I awed and started tearing up because the bellarke ship is killing me. I continued eating my chips and drank a sip from my Coke.

Why is life so hard when you try to do something nice towards the people who are not you and so easy when you don't try do anything? I thought about it over and over while watching the episode.

***

The alarm set off and I groaned while stretching and accidentally kicking my cat out of the bed. I heard a low hiss from under the bed and then licking sounds.

I casually looked at my clock

6.45 am

My eyes widened and I jumped out of my bed. I stopped in the middle of my hurrying towards the bathroom when I realized that I'm not late. Because it's Saturday today.

I groaned at my stupidness, and sleepily walked to my bed.

Some hours passed and I finally woke up. When I looked at my clock it told me that lunch already passed and I overslept. Oh well.

I got of my soft and cozy bed and went straight in to the toilet. The tiles were cool under my feet and I stretched, while looking at my toilet window. The weather was great for being outside but since I didn't have anybody to go out with  I'lll probably stay at home. As always. Birds were chirping nearby and I could see the trees swaying to the beat of the occasional breeze. I closed my eyes and tried to take everything in. The smell of the new grass, baby green leaves, and gorgeous and colorful flowers. The nice breeze tickled my face and I smiled.

I turned to the mirror and stared at my face, it was still covered with the sticky tears and I had big bags under my eyes. But I, myself, radiated happiness. My eyes were sparkling, unlike the usual dull expression combined with an eye roll. Whenever I tried to stop smiling, there was always a small smile playing on my face. I quickly washed of the past tears and I didn't put any make up, because I didn't need to. Women say that "beauty takes pain", well what if it doesn't?

What if we don't need to always make and fill our eyebrows to make them look like typical 2016 look. Or to put on tons of eyeliner and concealers just because we want to show that we are "perfect and beautiful". No, you're not beautiful with tons of makeup glued on your face, that's fake beautiful. You are truly beautiful when you accept the fact that we are gorgeous without makeup. That our natural eyebrows also look pretty and that we don't need any concealer to hide anything. Because there's nothing to hide.

You are always beautiful, no matter what.

While I was walking down the stairs, I repeated a little mantra and a remainder to myself, "Today will be a great day, I promise."

***

Guess who just went missing and came back with a very bad 1.1k word chapter? Okay you can start throwing the tomatoes at me.

bUt!!! I just wanted to say that this is a feeler chapter and there's a biG aSs chAptEr tHat wiLl bE poSted oN suNdAy

And that's because I love you guys. Like seriously, thank you for still reading my book even though it's not the best one here in wattpad. I know that I am not the best one on grammar and spelling, but I guess that nobody is perfect at it ((;

I love you guys, my fellow bad bitches. Stay bad. <3