I'll Always Love You

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"I'm not co-completely sure where I a-am," I say in-between ragged sobs, "I just need you t-to get me."

"Shh. Calm down. I want you to tell me what you see around you," Tess says in her most soothing voice.

I whirl my head around. After I got out of Will's car, I kept my head down, lost in my own thoughts, and walked for about an hour. I had no destination and didn't care which direction I went in. My thoughts took up all the space in my head, and after I was too tired to think anymore, my thoughts cleared and I realized I was lost.

"I see a starbucks next to a bookshop. I can't really make it out from here, but I think there's a T.J. Maxx across the street."

"Okay. I know where you are. Take some deep breaths, sit down where you are, and I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

Without anything else to do, I walk over to the nearby street bench and plop myself down. I open my cell phone to see eighteen messages in my mailbox: 3 from Kaitlyn, 1 from Julie, 1 from Hannah, 1 from Tess, and 12 from Nick.

Each message from Nick says something different: Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you. I was just trying to help. Are you seriously mad at me? God Taylor, pick up your phone!

I can tell Nick was just trying to help me, and I'm thankful for that. But he didn't need to almost break Will's face. Plus, I didn't ask for his help, and I can help myself. I don't know what changed with Will, or why he hurt me, but for now I just want some space to think things through.

Too many different emotions were trying to break through, so I decided to push them all out. Now, I feel nothing.

Light floods my vision and a cab pulls up in front of me. Before I stand up, Tess jumps out of the car and squeezes me so hard, I can barely breathe. The emotions I held back before now rush through me as I quietly sob on her shoulder. Tess releases me and steps back to examine me, "Are you okay? I got your call and I was so worried about you."

"I, I think I'm better. Better than I was before. I just need to go home."

Tess grabs my hand and pulls me into the cab. "Of course sweetie. Oh, and hey," she turns towards the taxi driver, "we're the first building on 5th."

The driver grunts and heads off. I keep my head facing the window, watching the lights and houses pass by. Tess senses that I need my space, so she doesn't ask me any more questions. We sit in silence until we pull up to our small apartment building. I hop out with my shoes dangling from my hands, and trudge into the building.

Tess and I step into the elevator, still maintaining our silence. Before we reach our floor, Tess clears her throat, "You know, if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm her for you." The doors ding open, and Tess walks out while I just look after her.

Most of the weekend I spent in my room or in the kitchen, eating, sleeping, and doing homework. I didn't feel too lonely since Tess had a huge article due the following week, and she spent her weekend on her typewriter.  

On Sunday, Kaitlyn called me. I didn't really feel like picking up, so I just let it go to voicemail. She called four times, but each time I simply stared as my old flip phone buzzed and her name appeared on my screen. Both Hannah and Julie kept texting me. I would hear the annoying ping of a text message arriving so much, that I had to turn off my phone. Whatever was so important would have to wait. 

Will didn't bother to call or text me. He didn't even try to apologize. When Monday morning rolls around, I know better than to expect him to pick me up. Instead, I walk tiredly to the bus stop, where Hannah's waiting for me. "What the hell happened to you? Do you know how many times Julie and I tried to contact you?" Hannah questioned loudly. She didn’t wait for an answer, not that I would give one, "A lot. I'm pretty sure I wasted my entire texting plan just to get you to notice that our friend, Kaitlyn is in trouble." 

My head perks up at this last bit, "What? Kaitlyn's in trouble?" 

Hannah leans her head back and gives out a mean chuckle, "Oh, so NOW you listen. But yes, while you were ignoring us, Kaitlyn moved into Julie's house. Her parents’ fighting got so bad that she had to leave," Hannah's voice goes softer, "You know, she really could've used your help. She wouldn't listen to my advice. She thinks you give the best advice." 

Guilt floods through me. How could I have been so selfish? I focused only on my petty boy problems, and totally ignored a friend in need. We always knew Kaitlyn's parents didn't always get along, but I never thought it would get this bad. "Oh my God Hannah, I didn't know. I am so sorry this happened." 

Hannah just shakes her head, "Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Kaitlyn." 

The bus arrives ten minutes late, and we don't get time to go talk to anyone before the late bell rings, so I go to science. Will's usual second row seat is empty, but what really captures my attention is Kaitlyn. She's sitting with her head down on the desk, wearing a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. She usually doesn't wear sweats to school. 

When I get into my seat, I nudge her with my elbow, "Kaits."

She groggily turns her head to me. Her eyes have large dark circles around them, hinting at a lack of sleep. "What?"

"I know this isn't going to be enough, but I heard what happened and I'm so sorry. I wish that I had been there to help."

Kaitlyn runs her hands over her face and yawns, "Yeah, well it's fine. My parents' marriage is screwed. But you know, no big deal."

"Kaitlyn," I murmur, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Just," Kaitlyn says, jerking back, "give me some space for now. I called you, you know."

I look down, "Yeah. I know. I was just having problems too and I didn't feel like looking at my messages. I wish I had, and trust me if I had known I would've picked up."

The teacher starts going over the homework and Kaitlyn doesn't say anything to me for the rest of class. It may sound selfish, but I had my own problems this weekend. Even if I had picked up my phone, I was definitely not in the mood to deal with anyone else's. 

I take my mind off Kaitlyn and focus my attention on Will's empty seat. Where is he? Is it possible that he is too much of a coward to face me?

He obviously thought that on Friday he was going to get something that I was not willing to give. I feel so stupid for having trusted him so quick. He seemed so nice. Definitely one of the sweetest guys I had hung out with in a while. For God's sakes, I went to his house and he didn't even try anything with me, not that I would've let him. I wonder if he ever did anything with all those other girls he dated...probably.

A/N

Hey everyone, 

I'm officially back and able to keep posting. Sorry if this chapter isn't as great, I was kind of rushing, but now I'm going to try to post more. Please tell me if you're enjoying this book. I would love to get some feedback! A picture of Tess is on the side>>>

 Until next time,

Lindsey