My Mother, The Counselor

Chapter Eighteen

'I've just been going crazy, Blake. I know I've been completely different than myself recently, and I know you hate me for it. I'm just trying to prove to you that that's not me, and I know that!'

I had been explaining to Blake the real reason I had suddenly arrived in Santa Barbara for about a half an hour already. I hadn't even told him half of what I was feeling though. Blake hadn't said much either. He just sat on the couch, rubbing his head and sighing.

'Blake, I don't know what to do without you. You've become such a huge part of my life. You make me better. I can't be me without you.' I said, softly.

Blake shook his head. 'This is just so much to process right now.' He mumbled. 'I mean, I was getting over all this and now, here you are telling me all this and all that and I just don't know how I'm supposed to respond.'

I sighed heavily. 'Well, if you don't know how to respond straight away, then maybe me coming here was a mistake.' I stood up swiftly. 'I should just go.'

I made my way towards the door, and Blake stayed put, rubbing his temples, frozen with his feet up on the couch. I felt my blood boiling, and my boy tensing with anger. He was just going to leave me? He was going to give up that easily?

I spun around quickly and stomped back to the couch. 'You know,' I began, strongly. 'I know I used to be just some snobby, bitchy, popular brat to you, but you and I both know now that that's not all I am. I have issues, I have my own problems. I've gone through loss and so have you. For fuck sake Blake don't you realise what I've been trying to tell you this whole time? I fucking love you Blake Woods. I'm completely and utterly in love with you. I know you've gone through so much over the past few months and within your whole life but you know that I will always be there for you. Even when you hate me, I will be there for you. Because I love you. Losing you has been like mourning the death of a loved one. It's like I've been mourning the loss of something incredible, which is what we were. We were incredible. That's what I came here to say. I know you have Becky here and you seem to be happy but I can see it in you that you're pretending to be happy but you're not. You were happier with Molly than you were with Becky.'

I had been talking to the back of Blake's head the whole time, and he hadn't even turned around to face me. However, I could hear him sniffle. I didn't even notice myself crying my eyes out until this point. My face was dripping with tears, and I was struggling to find my breath. 'I don't expect you to just leave everything behind here. I know you can't do everything to suit me, but you and I both know this isn't what you want, Blake. You and I both know we balance each other out, and we are completely perfect for one another. So I'm gonna go now. I'll see you soon, Woods.'

With that, I slowly made my way out of the apartment, and found Blake in the coffee shop downstairs with Jill and Becky.

'Hey, James. I'm all done here.' I sniffled. I tried to shield my red face and glassy eyes, but failed entirely.

'Are you okay, Mia?' Jill asked, loudly.

Becky peered up from her iPhone and smirked slightly. Obviously she was happy to see that her boyfriend had just made an old friend cry.

If only she had known the full story.

'Oh, yeah.' I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. 'Just something in my eye. You ready to go, James?'

'Sure, yeah let's go.' James replied, quickly jumping out of his seat and taking his denim jacket off the back of it.  He turned to Jill and Becky before accompanying me out of the coffee shop 'Nice to meet you both.'

I nodded my head and gave Jill a smile, ignoring Becky completely. James placed his hand on my back as we headed back to the car.

I collapsed in the passenger seat of the car and cupped my head in my hands. James sat timidly in the drivers seat and rubbed my back.