Intentional Fallacy (Book 5)

Chapter 11

Our lives together was a series of illusions. We moved through them so effortlessly. When Jeff woke at 6:00, he shook me gently. "Eve? Did you pack my suitcase for the trip?"

I opened my eyes and sat up. We were suddenly back in our ordinary lives. I was his wife. He was my husband. Nothing from the past few days was evident. Even his behavior the night before had receded. Our life together was again like any other typical couple. Here we were again in yet another iteration of the same duplicitous story. My son had once told me—in a moment of resentment—that my relationship with his father was like a cyclone. Except it didn't tear through our lives causing destruction in its path. It stayed in the same place, repeating the same havoc over and over. Never changing.

"No I didn't pack for you" I got out of bed.

"Why didn't you? You knew I was leaving."

"Because I was mad at you. Just like you were mad at me last night and didn't come home for dinner."

"Well, thanks. Now I'll be late."

"Take a shower," I said. "I'll pack it for you now."

"I'm going to be late getting to the airport."

"When's your flight?"

"I have to leave here by 8:00."

I shook my head. "That's two hours. Why are you so panicked? Go take a shower, I'll pack a suitcase for you and make you some breakfast."

"I wish you had packed it last night, Eve. Really."

"Can you at least appreciate that I'm doing it now?"

He went into the shower while I packed his things. I was glad for a few days without him. I'd be glad to read the journal, prepare for classes and get back into my own life. He was a child. I needed time away from caring for him."

I put on my robe and went downstairs. I fixed a pot of coffee. I fixed eggs and toast. He came downstairs carrying his suitcase. He walked over to me and kissed me. "Thank you."

I sat and had my coffee while he ate breakfast. We both read the paper. When I yawned, he looked up at me. Set the paper down. "I'm sorry I woke you up last night."

I didn't say anything.

He bit his lip and stared at me for a moment. "Eve. I'm sorry I hit you those years after we married."

I felt a piercing pain through me. I felt myself start to tremble. I nodded.

"I'm sorry I forced you to--."

"We don't need to talk about it now."

"Listen to me," he said softly. "I don't know how to apologize for having you put in the hospital. For what happened there."

I felt faint. "Why did you do it then? Did you think I'd be safe? That they wouldn't have hurt me like they did?"

He kept his eyes on me. I was afraid.

"No." He said.

"No. you didn't think they'd hurt me?"

He let out a slow breath. "No. I knew they would."

I started to cry. "You knew they would?"

"Yes."

"Why did you do it then?"

"Because you didn't love me any more." He shook his head. "I told you last night, I can't take it when I think you're leaving me or that you don't love me. I go crazy. I went crazy. That's why."