Intentional Fallacy (Book 5)

Chapter 1

I was rushing to make it on time for a PTA meeting and at the same time have dinner ready for Jeff should he come home before I left. I had a plate of chicken, rice and green beans in the refrigerator and all he'd have to do is heat it up. I hoped he wouldn't come home until after I left because I really didn't want to be late. I'd dressed in a straight wool skirt and a white button down shirt. I'd started wearing my hair shoulder length again. I was made up and ready to go. I had several folders of notes and a pad of paper on the hall table and I was jut taking my coat out of the hall closet when he walked in the door. He took off his trench coat. I went over to him and took it from him. I turned to put it in the closet.

He examined me, "where are you going?"

"I told you didn't I? Tonight's the PTA meeting."

"Do you have to leave just yet?"

I hung his coat up and continued taking mine out of the closet. "Can I get you a drink before I go? I have dinner for you in the refrigerator."

"Yes. I'll take a drink." He walked over to the couch and sat down, picked up the paper.

It was with a subtle irritation that I poured a scotch and walked over to him. He put the paper down and took a drink.

"You look so pretty," He said, "Come here a minute." He put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. He untucked my shirt from my skirt. "Come sit for just a minute.

Whenever he touched me I felt fear and desire. It had been that way for as long as I remembered. My mind was already drawing excuses from the crypt beneath my logical side. I sat on the couch next to him and he started unbuttoning my shirt. I wanted to say that I had to go but I didn't want to reject him. He moved closer and kissed me and as he did he leaned into me and put his hand on my stomach and then my back. I let out a sharp breath.

"You can be a little late, can't you?"

I nodded. I could feel warmth fill my body as he moved and guided me down on the couch. He pulled up my skirt and started to remove my stockings. "Let me do it. So they don't run." I whispered.

"No." he kissed my cheek. "I'll do it." He took his time gently removing my stockings and then he moved on top of me. "I love you." His eyes were intent and I closed my eyes while we made love. When we finished I started to move to get ready. 

I looked at him. "I have to go." I said and then  I rushed to fix myself back up. I peered at the clock on the mantle and I could see I would be at least ten minutes late. I put my stockings on. 

"Come here," He said.

 I turned to him. "I'm sorry " I said. "I'm so late as it is."

When I turned to him he reached out and started buttoning my shirt for me. He was taking his time and I just looked down and watched him while he did. I started crying.

"Why are you crying?" He asked. His tone was loving and gentle.

I shrugged.

"You're silly." He whispered and kissed me again. "They'll understand."

It was bad. It all felt bad and I knew it would. I knew as soon as I put on my wedding rings again, they would seal the inevitable destruction. They kept the door closed to those first years in our marriage. All the violence and power. They reminded me, looking down at the large diamond on my finger as I held on to the steering wheel while I held a cigarette with the other hand, they reminded me of the night he'd almost killed me. I took a deep breath and let it out. I didn't want to cry any more. I wanted to take them off and throw them out the window so I could imagine them striking the pavement violently, rolling into a ditch or landing beside a post buried into the earth where they should be left, undisturbed.