Keep It Brief

Try, Try, Try Again (240 Words)

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

It's not the jeans, but all the donuts you've been inhaling lately.

(She stormed out of the dressing room)

REWIND #1

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

Yes, a little bit.

(She threw a hanger at me)

REWIND #2

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

Perhaps a slightly larger size would compliment you more.

(She burst into tears)

REWIND #3

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

Oh, yes. P-H-A-T. Pretty Hot and Tempting!

(She rolled her eyes)

REWIND #4

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

Actually, I'd prefer you wear a skirt so those sexy legs could be on display!

(She encouraged me to leave immediately)

REWIND #5

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

Personally, I'm liking the extra meat. Only more of you to love.

(She threw a hanger and her shoes)

REWIND #6

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

You are the most beautiful woman in the universe.

(She smirked)

REWIND #7

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

No. Not at all.

(She accused me of lying)

Babe, do these jeans make me look fat?

Seriously, how does one successfully answer that?

When such a question is posed,

Even the invention of the Relationship Remote,

Might not work.

That's why regardless of what I replied,

My butt is sleeping on the couch.

I detest clothes shopping.