Damaged

Completely different

It was Saturday, Saturday was always family day, i looked foward to it all week. I woke up to my mum and dad arguing, i realised why i shouldn't be looking foward to it. I was certain this was when they'd give me the news. They were divorcing. I acted like everything was normal, even though i knew it was far from that, i got up and got dressed, i put on my playsuit, it was designed like a comic, i absolutely loved it. It had "crash" "boom" and comic things written all over it in bold colours, it was black apart from that. I sat at the mirror, applied a little mascara and blush and curled my long blonde hair. I wore mascara to bring out my green eyes and put blush on to add some colour to my face. I had kind of an olive colour skin but i liked to make sure my face didn't look drained. I had been losing a little sleep since this thing with my mum and dad, i just wanted it all over with, although the last thing i wanted was for them to seperate. I decided to head downstairs to get this day started, we'd normally go for what my mum and dad called 'brunch' then make a day of it but i could see this day being cut short. As i got to the bottom of the stairs i could see they put on an act straight away, smiling at me and touching eachother, my mum was rubbing my dads arms and playing with his hands, entwining her fingers, as if. 

We made our way to my favourite place, Lillians. It was named after the woman who owned it a few years back, her daughter and son had taken over for her when she passed away. I stepped inside and the air was filled with the smell of bacon, toast and coffee, i loved the smell. Me and my dad sat down while my mum ordered two tea's and a coffee, i asked for toast, i couldn't eat much right now, i was terrified, mum got a breakfast bagel and dad got a full english. As mum sat back down she smiled at me, it was a sympathetic smile, which showed me the news was coming. She sat next to my dad but edged away so they weren't touching, they couldn't even pretend for me. Hayley came over with our teas and breakfast, she made a little small talk with my dad and he could see him eyeing her up, i felt sick to my stomach, she left after my mum coughed, obviously my mum had a little sympathy for me and of course they weren't even divorced yet. I nibbled on my toast and out of the corner of my eye i could see my mum and dad mentally deciding whether to tell me. My mum gave my dad a glare then he nodded in response, she gave him a stern look and pointed her hands towards me, thinking i couldn't see them but i could. 

I cleared my throat, forcing my mum and dad to evert their eyes to me. They moved so they were now sitting opposite me, mum grabbed my hands in hers, she gave me a sympathetic look, the one she had been giving me all day, i knew this was it, i held my breath and tried to mentally calm myself down. Dad gave me a smile as i saw mum nudge him in the arm. "You know me and your mum love eachother and you very much don't you sweetie?" He tried to give me a loving look but it looked just as sympathetic as mums. I nodded, just so he could carry on. "We tried darling, we really did but our marriage just isn't the same, we met when we were fifteen, we're different people." My mum nodded in agreement then added "We were so young, we had no idea we'd have you and get married, we changed." My dad also nodded in agreement. I couldn't sit here while they said they "changed" while they spouted all these pathetic excuses. 

I ran, i ran out the doors of Lillians and ran further from that. I didn't know where i was going i just had to run, luckily i had brought my bag which contained my notepad and pencils, i had brought colours too so i could stay wherever i went forever. I kept on running until i reached the park, i decided this was as good of a place as any, i felt comfortable here, sitting under a tree and drawing was perfect. I walked into the park and realising how packed it was i nearly walked back out, i liked the peace but i thought about where else i could go and i had nothing. I sat under a big tree, my eyes were probably puffy from crying and my mascara was probably down my face, i didn't care. Who would i see? I never saw anyone out and if i did they ignored me. I didn't have one true friend, i didn't mind. 

"Look who it is." I heard a familiar voice say from behind me, my back arched up, suddenly i didn't want to be here anymore. "Go away i'm not in the mood Della." I shot her a death glare, she observed my face, the tears falling from my cheeks, the ruined makeup and the puffy eyes. I thought for a second she'd show she had a heart but she just laughed "Danielles crying!" then she walked away. I felt bad for saying i hated her but i really really hated her. I watched her walk away and join the second biggest bitch in school Jada, she hated me just because Della hated me. Della sat down and i noticed Zayn standing in front of her, i should have guessed. He yawned a few times infront of Della which made me giggle, she'd hate that. His face stayed expressionless, it didn't move at all, then i saw Della lean over and stroke Zayns face, he put his hands up and said something inaudible to me, he walked towards me but didn't look, i wasn't sure if he saw me but he sat in the same tree he had the other day and lit a cigarette. 

I got out my sketch pad and started a sketch of the pond, it wasn't easy for me to see it from where i was sitting but i went there a lot, it was my second favourite place to go, i knew what it looked like, i could sketch it from memory. I thought back to the times i had sat by the pond, i drew the ducks and the children and elderly people feeding them. 

As i was sketching i glanced over to see Zayn, he didn't look up. Just as i was about to continue my sketch i saw him look up, i was trying to be subtle about looking at him but i was sure he saw me. Thats when i remembered what a state i was in, but i quickly decided i didn't care because i had too much on my mind right now, i never wanted to go home. I looked back down on my sketch pad and saw Zayn walk past me out of the corner of my eye, he walked into the shop across the road so i continued my sketching thinking he had gone for good. That was until i felt a hand on my shoulder, i looked up to see Zayn standing above me, still no expression on his face. He knelt down beside me and pulled out a tissue, he wiped my eyes and face to ged rid of my tears and running make up. He didn't say a thing he just kept his eyes on mine the whole time, i felt like i was having a staring contest, he hardly blinked. His eyes were beautiful, i didn't mind staring into them, they were mesmerizing, breathtaking. 

After he had finished he handed me the packet of tissues, i was guessing this is why he had gone into the shop, i instantly started crying, floods of tears streaming down my cheeks, i was mortified i was being so weak infront of a stranger. "I'm sorry." He looked up at me, still no emotion on his face and looked into my eyes, the way he looked at me was so intense i wanted to cry even more. He looked down at my hand and entwined our little fingers and we just sat there, not saying a word. 

I didn't even know this boy, all i know is he is beautiful and he makes me forget everything. But i also knew i could never be his friend, we were totally different. 

Completely different.

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