You can't ever put a pin in the day you walk away from the living. The day you stop wanting to be included. You start being annoyed with having to wake up. Then, it's more I general discomfort when you're around others. Next, it's a physical repulsion you feel when someone address you. Finally, it's all to much and you're just done dealing with it. You'd prefer to sit by yourself, all alone, in a dark room. When people ask you if you want to leave you say no because you're done and it's not worth their happiness to make yourself miserable again.
I can't tell you the root of it. It's different for everyone but that's how it feels to slowly dislocate yourself. I don't know what's worse, the fact that you pushing people away or that it doesn't bother you that you're pushing other away. You become content, the simple act of being left alone is enough to satisfy you.
This isn't being an introvert because an introvert stops here. If you're truly living the world of the living, even this isn't enough. Soon being around yourself starts to eat at you and you want to quit interacting with your own thoughts.
You can't pin point the moment you start slipping but you can track the exact second you come to terms with the problem. If that doesn't tell you which one is more significant, then I don't think there's enough evidence to argue either way.
YOU ARE READING
Everything. Left. Behind.
Teen FictionA year after waking up in the hospital because he attempted to overdose. The young protagonists reflects on the events of his year and comes to terms with his own existence and moves towards a more grown up ideology instead of his more common rebell...
