Everything. Left. Behind.

Part. Thirteen. I. Fucked. Up.

Freedom riding back from the beer store with a strong than usual buzz was heaven and it was probably the last thing I don't regret about the night at the lake. My phone lit up with a message from my darling friend Q, for the last time. She told me she had to see me tonight and I sent her the address to the lake house and let my phone die.
We played beer pong with are newly purchased 30 pack of beer. I never grew tired of playing beer pong with Kansas but however it's growing tiring to write about. In order to give myself something to write about later I threw up like a little  bitch in the backseat of Austin's car. I'm stick to my to break up the beer pong playing excuse but honestly I hadn't had enough to drink to be that drunk but hey maybe it was a sign that I need to end the bender. I didn't but maybe it was.
I fell asleep sitting up against a wall outside of whichever house I was sinking at. The great thing about the lake neighborhood is everyone's drinking outside of their house. You can walk up to any smoker/ barbecue pit and strike up a conversation with a drunk flipping burgers, man that's the life. I woke up after sunset having had gotten the most sleep then than I had in days I was very well rested.
I made my return to the front deck to see the wonderful ass of a prefect red haired teenager called Q, so I grabbed it. Duh. In doing so I had sexualized her for the first time in the entirety of our friendship. (Except for that one kiss but it wasn't  sexual. It's was just honest curiosity). As she rotated around to see who wa touching her butt I went in for a kiss like some kinda badass or complete retard, I don't know which. If that wasn't crazy enough my drunken ass finished the kiss by pointing at Kansas, the wing bro I am, then say him next. I watch the two very obviously mentally thrown off teens kiss while I grab a beer, I don't need.
   I don't know what happened next I came too at the original house I started at smoking bud with the crazy, long hair guy. Black out again, I'm back to sitting next to Q with Kansas on the other side of her. We taking turns occupying her lips while drinking in between our turns with the crazy red head who presence was a definite improvement in my night so far.
  We play a game called king's cup. A simple google search and you too could have the time of your life with a case of beer and favorable companions. The tabs popped fast as fuck on the Budweiser cans so we spent more time chugging beers than flipping cards which is probably why the next thing I remember is being alone with Q in my lap sitting in a chair and feeling like a million bucks because I finally had the girl. Truthfully, I was scared I don't get scared often and when I do I don't admit to it but having Q offer for us to leave the party together and go find a park so where so we can drunkenly try to fuck seemed like a fantasy come true. It was to much pressure for me at that very moment. At another time maybe but I didn't want Q to know me like that so I said "If you fuck me you have to fuck Kansas too". Right on queue Mcdaddy himself walked in and picked Her off my lap and threw her over his shoulder, I followed closely behind as he lead my to the nearest bed room.
Warning sexual content:
My biggest high school fantasy was the thought of what her vagina might taste like because she was the only girl I didn't think I could ever talk out of her panties off to find out. In the darkness of that room, in that one lake house, that one night I found out. It tasted like vagina and sweet sweet victory but mostly vagina. No really surprise there.
I unknowingly built up a kind of rage towards Q of the years for the constant teasing and flirting between us that I knew I could never capitalize on because she was with my best friend.
That room made me understand that I could have had her anytime I decided to just grab her and that made me mad at myself.
I took off her shirt while he slid down her pants. I worked my lips around her body and Kansas followed suit. She was  a lot sexier at my finger tips than she ever was the million times I seen her naked in passing. I was enjoying myself     Although I was realizing that it was never going to be as good as I hoped it would due to the overwhelming length of time I pictured it. Fantasies coming true isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Until of course she started to breath and her whimpers of pleasure sounded like she was having the time of her life as she slid my penis in her mouth while Mcdaddy trusted her from the front.
It was hot but her frictions wasn't enough. I placed her head of the bed and throat fucked her with all the rage I had built up from the myriad of things under my skin.
She moved my mouth away from me and said "it's starting to hurt" I looked her in the eyes in acknowledging nodding my head before returning to the back of her mouth were I continue to rub myself in until I got mine.
We went outside after for a smoke and we all share one slight peck of a kiss.
She drove me home later if I recall correctly. I bought her a pack of cigarettes with the last of my money. (That's right. I spent like 590$ on one party, don't judge. You wish you could too). 
She pulled into my drive way and I kissed her goodbye. That was the last time a ever saw my high school best friend and beloved Q. If you ever read this I hope you know that you were one of the good guys and I hope you feel the same.

Side note she totally had a boyfriend. If hated to be that guy. How do you process the knowledge that your girlfriend left the house to get tossed around like sex doll by two immature douchebags. I swear if he heard the shit she said about how good it was on the way home he would be able to get over it. That shit would haunt him.