"Those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it."
Cynthia A. Patterson
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AT AGE FIFTEEN Charlie Martin kissed a boy for the first time. Hidden from view, it was all nervousness and uncertainty. The other boy's lips tasted of beer, they kissed two seconds before the clock hit midnight, and they kept kissing for minutes after. Charlie is pretty sure the other boy doesn't remember, but Charlie does. It kept him awake at night for months after.
AT AGE FIFTEEN Charlie Martin is told that all gay people go to hell. For the next few months he cries himself to sleep.
AT AGE SIXTEEN Charlie Martin breaks his first heart. This time it's public, it's all regret and fear. The other boy's cheeks were slick with tears, and Charlie pretended he was indifferent. He wasn't. Charlie is pretty sure that the other boy would rather not remember, Charlie refuses to let himself forget. It's what keeps him up at night.
AT AGE SIXTEEN Charlie Martin is beaten so that his ribs break and his face is almost unrecognisable. The people at the hospital ask him what happened. He tells them he fell.
AT AGE SEVENTEEN Charlie Martin makes an attempt to apologise. It's done in a quiet coffee shop, it's all apologies and lying. The other boy is angry, sharp words are thrown, Charlie doesn't blame him. Charlie hopes the other boy remembers, the words slice through Charlie's dreams until they become nightmares.
AT AGE SEVENTEEN Charlie Martin listens to a man preach about the wrongness of homosexuality. When he tries to speak up, Charlie's face becomes well acquainted with the wall.
AT AGE EIGHTEEN Charlie Martin falls in love. It's a secret sort of thing, all touching and whispers. The other boy doesn't feel the same way, they kiss and trace the outlines of each other's bodies but never talk. It's impossible for the other boy not to remember and at night, Charlie allows himself to revisit it.
AT AGE EIGHTEEN Charlie Martin lives in constant fear that at any moment someone will find out.
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Author's Note
-This is a spin off of 'Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay' (can be found on @greenypots) but can be read a stand alone
-If you've read JCING then don't let Daniel's perception of Charlie sway you. Remember that you only know one side of the story and that Daniel himself only knows what Charlie told him.
-If you are new here then hello - hope you enjoy the journey
-This is a book of three parts. Each part will begin with a flashback, firstly when Charlie is 15, then 16, then 17. The majority of the book is set when Charlie is 18 in his first term at university.
-Content warnings are as follows:
Homophobia, abuse, masturbation, strong language, sex, and a hell of a lot of angst
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Playlist: Forbidden Kisses (In the external link)
Timeline: February 2016 - ?
