How to Survive School

*4*: Gym Class

Welcome to hell.

At least, for people like me it's hell.

Gym class can be fun on occasion, but for most kids from this generation, since gym involves actually moving your ass, it is immensely hated.

This chapter will simply be the following: gym hacks (or how to get out of gym class/ make gym class a better experience).

1) It's a feminine issue...:

This only works if you're a girl.

Basically, you tell your teacher, after or before you get dressed that you are having feminine issues, or cramps.

If the teacher is a guy, they will not want to hear any more, and will just let you go to the nurse.

If the teacher is a girl, they will let you go out of the united bond of feminism and understanding that all girls have with each other.

Once you're at the nurse's office, just chill for a bit, so that you have at least missed the warm-ups, then come back for the less active things.

This can be changed to a really simple "I have a headache/ my stomach hurts" excuse, if you're a guy.

But you can't really use this excuse very often, or they will obviously suspect something.

I'm able to get away with using it about once every two months.

2) Break a leg:

I've always envied those kids with broken bones or concussions that get to just chill out during gym class and don't have to get dressed or participate in the activities.

Sure, it sucks that they broke a bone, but look at how long they get out of gym class for!

And you don't even have to be severely injured, either. Last year, my friend had these strange warts on her toe, and she got out of gym for almost three months or so.

But, this typically has to be a visible "injury" or the teacher will know what you're trying to do.

3) Skip class:

I have never done this, but it seems pretty fun.

4) Appointment:

Have your parents schedule your doctor or dentist appointment during gym class so you can get out of it.

This works even better if you have braces, since you have to get those checked out pretty frequently by your orthodontist.

This is a great way to get out of class easily, without any issues.

4) I'm tying my shoe:

In the beginning of gym class, we have to jog for some time. If you want to skip this, simply find a distant corner and tie your shoes. For three whole minutes.

Most gym teachers are stupid, so they won't really notice.

5) I left my gym clothes in my locker:

This is yet another way to get out of warm-ups in the beginning of the class.

First, purposefully leave your washed gym clothes in your locker. Then, go up to your teacher while everyone is getting dressed and say, "I think I left my gym clothes in my locker."

Then, just take your sweet time going to get them and then getting dressed. You are guaranteed to miss at least half of the warm-up.

This can be used up to once every two weeks.

6) Don't participate much:

If you really don't give a shit about your grades, just do the bare minimum that you possibly can. If you have a try-hard gym teacher, they will dock points off, but most gym teachers just don't really care if you try or not.

7) Get in trouble:

I have friends that somehow, without a shadow of a doubt, manage to get in big trouble at the very beginning of class, every freaking day. Then, they basically just end up sitting out for the day.

The teachers are so dumb that they let these kids just sit next to each other, sometimes.

How do you get in trouble? It's pretty easy, from my observations.

Just yell out a cuss word, be rude to the teacher, or do something dangerous, like jump off of row five of the bleachers in the gym.

Obviously, the kids that do this don't give a flaming shit about their record, or their future.

But, if you are crazy enough to do this, go for it.

***

Gym class is an awful terror for the unathletic, unlike anything else. Not only is it humiliating, but it is boring and stupid also.

Hopefully, this variety of tricks to get out of one of the dumbest classes created will help you survive school, at least with a little more ease.

Besides, there's nothing like the satisfaction you get from tricking a teacher.