How to Survive School

*1*: Homework

One of the worst things about school is homework, especially as you get older.

You look back, thinking, "Remember in kindergarten when we could just play outside or do whatever we wanted, right after school, without worrying about anything else?"

There is a simple system: the older you get, the more homework you get. And then, there's the whole thing regarding how hard your classes are, because chances are, the harder the class, the more homework you get.

Homework is given out so that people can practice the topic they learned at school and get comfortable (for the most part).

So why the hell do we get punished for not doing it? Why do we have to fill out those stupid homework slips that need to get signed by a parent, or get yelled at in front of the class for not doing it? What's the use of that?

For most of my life, I haven't done much homework. Is it twenty million times more stressful to not do homework, or to wait until the very last minute to start it? Yes. But, you must ask yourself the question: is it worth it?

The answer is no. No, the extra stress is not worth it. Homework is very stupid, yes, but if you just do the homework, you will be avoiding waking up in the middle of the night, thinking, "holy shit, I didn't color in my chemical bonding comic strip!" or "holy shit, I forgot to read chapter twenty in my social studies textbook!"

But, there are a couple of tricks to getting out of doing homework, and certain circumstances in which actually doing your homework is entirely unnecessary.

1) Your teacher:

Certain kinds of teachers simply never collect the homework, or check to see if you've done it. Sure, you go over the answers in class, and sure, they keep reminding you how important it is to do your homework, but the truth is, you will be just fine without doing your homework in a class like this.

Unfortunately, chances are that this kind of a teacher who doesn't check to make sure you've done the homework is also not very good at teaching important things to prepare you for tests.

2) Your students:

In every class, there is that one irritating know-it-all that likes to show off. Well, as irritating as this kid is, he/she does have their advantages. They are typically so arrogant that they will willingly give you the answers to the homework, or potentially even do it for you, for free. Just make sure that they aren't a huge teacher's pet or a goody-two-shoes, or they might rat you out.

3) Your speed:

This definitely depends on the kind of person you are. If you are kind of smart, you should be able to speedily do at least part of the homework. However, limited time is a real problem if you are slow.

4) Your (other) resources:

Depending on the type of assignment, it could be easy or hard to complete. Things like powerpoints and projects are obviously not going to get done in the five minutes you have before class, but worksheets and problems assigned out of your math textbook are simple.

Half the time, the answers are in the back of your textbook, or the teacher left the answer key under the projector, or the responsible kid next to you isn't even trying to cover up his answers. In this case, just copy off as much as you can before the resource disappears.

If you have nice friends, they will also let you copy off of them. Another great thing to do is to split up the assignment amongst yourself and your friends, so it is much less work. For example (this is simple math): if you have five friends (including yourself), and thirty math problems, each of you does a different six, and everyone comes together before the assignment needs to be handed in, and writes down the rest of the answers.

5) How well you can lie:

"Sorry Mrs. (name of teacher), I know for sure I turned that assignment in yesterday! I looked through my binder and everything, so you must have lost it in your stack of papers or something, because I definitely don't have it." This is a template you can use when you haven't done your homework, but can't afford another late slip or zero in the gradebook, or you really don't want to get yelled at in front of the class.

On several occasions, I have simply said this to a teacher, and, since they are very busy and have tons of more important things to do, they just made me exempt from the assignment (which means that they don't count the grade towards my final grade). But don't use this more than once for the same teacher.

***

Sometimes, it's better to be honest than to try and lie. Just tell the truth: you left it at home, you didn't do it, you haven't finished it, you completely forgot.

Unless the reason you didn't do your homework is because your friend drew a dick on the worksheet, but it's not coming off, and it covers the entire paper, so you can't just color over it (or something along those lines).

Anyways, if you are like me, and you are too lazy to do your homework, these tips might help.

But, in the end, it is always just better to suck it up and do your homework, even if it's at three a.m. in the morning, or two minutes before your bus comes. And, if you want to pick and choose which assignments to do, always do the big projects. Since you have to present those (usually), other students in your class will judge you for not doing it.

And, if you get bad grades, one of the most irritating things in the world is to be super upset about it. If you don't do your homework, it is difficult to get good grades on tests, even if you study a lot. So, you should expect to not do so great on those, and don't be upset if you fail, because it is ultimately your fault.

Overall, homework is a terrible burden most of the time, and I have managed to do okay while avoiding it as much as I possibly can.