We are one (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 22

Tris POV
I get up and walk out. I don't want to listen to her any more. I don't have to listen to her bullshit. I don't care anymore. I see out of the corner of my eye Cody getting up and following me. Tobias doesn't get up. He doesn't care about me. No body does. I walk through the cold corridors of the school.
"Hey Tris! Wait!" I hear Cody call. I don't turn around I just keep walking. I just need some fresh air. I get out of school and stand at the front. She's lucky I snap and break her nose. Cody's shoulder brushes mine.
"You ok?" He says. I keep looking forward.
"Does it look like I'm ok." I say and slide down the wall and sit on the steps of the school. I pull my knees up to my chest.
"None of this shit would ever happen in Michigan." Cody mutters. What the hell did he just say.
"What!" I say and turn towards him. I look him in the eye.
"Shit like this happened in Michigan. Worse things happened there." I say and turn back.
"What was your night mare about? This morning." He says. His voice is smooth and sounds full of concern.
"Something that happened in the juvenile centre." I tell him. I swallow and close my eyes.
I feel him fumble for the hem of my shirt. Shit! I gasp for air and black out.
I open my eyes now.
"I heard you talking in your sleep. You were having a conversation. Then you screamed. That's when I came." He says "I was worried about you." I sigh slightly. My brother saved me from another nightmare.
"What was it about Tris you can tell me." He says
"I was attacked and pushed into the janitors closet. I got beat up and made to do something that I didn't want to do." I say. I look at the floor the whole time.
"What did the boy do?" He questions.
"H- he t-touched me." I stutter. He tries to put his arm around me but I move away. I don't like any one close to me. I can't deal with it.
"Tris. I'm sorry" he says. I look up.
"It's not your fault." I say. Shocked. Why is he saying sorry he didn't do anything.
"Yes. It's my fault. I wish I'd just of ignored your wishes and just of gotten caught with you. I wish I could've been there to stop that dick from doing what he did to you. I wish I could've made all the bad things go away. Like a brother should." He says. His eyes well with tears.
"Your the best fake brother any one could ask for. Sometimes I've got to fight my own battles." I say. He nods.
"I know, but no body should go through as much shit you do. You've taken so many blows yet your still standing." I close my eyes. I'm not standing. I'm barely crawling. I can't take it anymore. The nightmares. I'm too scared for any one to get close because I feel like I'm a bomb. One day I'll give up and explode. Destroying everything in my path. I don't like to have people close time because I'm worried I'll hurt them. Like the one great John Green said in the Fault In Our Stars. I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimise the casualties.
"I'm not standing." I say and look down.
"I'm broken. Unfixable. I've been broken and trodden on too many times." I can't deal with it here. But where else will I go? I can't sleep. I barely eat. If I do sleep I get night mares and memories. Twisted memories that are so real. I don't know whether Cody being here helps or not. It just brings out old rusty memories from when we were kids. When we were young, but not free. We sit out for what feels like hours. Tobias comes out at one point to check we're ok. That I'm ok. I don't look at him. Cody speaks for me. I sit there in my own thoughts. In silence. I don't go to my periods this afternoon. It's the last period of the day. We've sat here for almost two hours. It's been so quiets. So bliss. I sigh again.
"Hey, I need to talk to you about something." Cody says croakily. I turn to see his deep green eyes looking to the floor. He's playing with the hem of his shirt. He always does that when he's nervous. I nod.
"Will you run away with me, back to Michigan?" I feel my self stop breathing.