Two Stars- An Auslly Fanfiction

Chapter 5

For the rest of the day, I purposely avoid Austin. While Sabrina insists, “It’s no big deal,” I’m still embarrassed.

As I fold all of the clothes that I had just previously just stuffed in the suitcase, he’s all I can think about. And I don’t even know exactly why.

Whenever I leave the guest room, or I guess it’s my room now, I keep my head down, so I won’t have to look at him, so he won’t see my face, which I can feel go red every time I pass him. I’m not trying to pass him, either. It’s just that wherever I go, he seems to appear, making me want to disappear.

So despite the fact that I apparently “like” Austin, I’m undeniably relieved when he has to go home for dinner.

“Bye,” he calls to Sabrina and I as he passes through the kitchen, where we’re setting the table. “It was nice meeting you, Ally.” I’m determined to ignore him, but somehow I find myself raising my head and giving him a small smile, before I can control it.  As soon as he’s gone, I let go of the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“Girl,” Sabrina says, shaking her head. “You are a sad, sad mess.”

“I know,” I groan, “But I don’t know what I’m doing! I’ve lived in the middle of nowhere for the last ten years! I haven’t been around a boy my age since kindergarten! What do I say to him? How do I act?”

“Listen,” she lowers her voice as Susan walks by. “The key is to not freak out, which, by the way, is exactly what you’re doing. You really just have to calm down, be yourself. Talk to him like you’d talk to me, or anyone else. “

Her advice is good. The only problem is, Austin isn’t like anyone else. Not to me.

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My worst nightmare comes before I even go to bed. Susan brings it up during dinner, which I have decided to eat like a civilized human being, and not spend the whole meal scowling at my plate.

“So, Ally and Eli. School starts on Monday for you guys! I’ve already signed you up and everything.”

“Cool! I wanna make some new friends!” my brother exclaims. That’s so like him, not to look at all the things wrong with this idea.

“S-school? N-new?” I stutter nervously.

“Don’t worry, Ally! It’ll be fun!” Eli says cheerfully.  I nod, unconvinced.

“Yeah. Yeah, fun.”

“Yep, Marino High is one of the best schools in this part of Florida!” Dez informs.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure it is. Uh, which way is the bathroom?” Sabrina points to a door, and I immediately bolt up and dash inside. Once locking it, I sink to the floor.

I can’t go to high school. I’ll have no friends, because no one here understands me, no one gets my life. And because I’ll have no friends, I’ll be an easy victim for people with a ton of friends. I can picture the horror so clearly in my mind. I try to take a deep breath, but it comes out shaky. When I stand up, my face looks pale in the mirror.

After a minute, I know I have to go back out, so I try to make it look like I’m not going through an existential crisis. The rest of dinner goes smoothly. For everyone who isn’t freaking out, that is. So, you know, everyone but me. 

The next day, Sabrina walks me over to the school, while Dez takes Eli to the elementary school. It’s empty, of course, being a Sunday, but the size still terrifies me.

And then, too soon, it’s Monday morning. I don’t think I got more than two hours of sleep last night. How could I?

While it’s close enough to walk, Sabrina’s mom drives us to the school, because she has to check me into the front office. By the time my schedule prints out, conveniently with a little school map on the back, I’ve already missed first period. I find my second class on the map, but my feet don’t seem to want to move.

“Don’t worry, Ally,” the secretary says. “Your math teacher is very nice.” I nod, and give her a fake smile, even though I’m ready to throw up. C’mon, Ally. You can do this.

With one last half-hearted wave, I exit the office, and slowly make my way to room 32. As I get closer, my steps get smaller, but eventually I reach the door. I just stare at it, for a long time, afraid to touch the handle. I’m so nervous I feel dizzy.

My breaths keep getting shallower, until I’m practically hyperventilating. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Without a second thought, I’m running back the way I’d come, falsely hoping I could hide in the nurses office for the rest of the day. My head down, I’m not paying attention to anything, my only thought is getting out of here.

“Ah!” I cry as I run into someone. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” I exclaim. Then I look up. My face probably cannot get any redder than it is now. Why, why, do I keep having to make a fool of myself in front of him?

“It’s fine, Ally,” Austin says smiling, partially amused, partially forgiving. I look at the ground, blushing like mad, not sure what to say to him.

“Sorry,” I mumble again.

“You’re so shy. Every time anyone talks to you, you just look away.” I shrug. He’s right, though, minus Sabrina.

“It’s just,” I whisper, “I don’t know what to do here. One day I’m by myself in the orchard, the next I’m here in this crazy world I don’t even remember. I’m just- it’s just that I’m scared.” I finally look up at him. His eyes are searching mine; I can tell he’s trying to read me. I wonder if I really want to be read. But now that I’m looking, I can’t look away.

“Don’t be scared,” he advises softly. I start to turn away, but he stops me. I feel goose bumps under my sweater where his hand touches my shoulder. “I said don’t be scared. You aren’t doing a very good job.” I know he’s only teasing, but I still frown at him.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I grumble.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I wince. He’s got a point.

“Hey. Be brave,” Austin says. “I gotta go, and so do you. Maybe I’ll see you at lunch or after school or something.” I nod, but the paralyzing fear of going back to the classroom has taken my words, the Austin normally does. “Stay strong!” he calls, before parting.

Maybe I will. I have a new kind of energy.

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So there's the chapter, which I posted early, because in like 10 minutes, I'm leaving for camp, which means I won't have internet or any technology until Saturday...Enjoy this, the next one won't come for awhile!